tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29068080653860861792011-08-18T06:23:24.115-07:00Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.comBlogger981100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-21119357753755283892010-09-18T11:34:00.002-07:002010-09-18T11:36:45.621-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TJUGqx9rAjI/AAAAAAAAASA/zd5V1Pg7yhA/s1600/funnyy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TJUGqx9rAjI/AAAAAAAAASA/zd5V1Pg7yhA/s400/funnyy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518324250448691762" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2111935775375528389?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-19804111511909309622010-09-11T23:26:00.000-07:002010-09-11T23:29:34.956-07:00Şeful îşi trimite subalternul în delegaţie în Brazilia.<br />- Brazilia ? Acolo nu găseşti decât fotbal şi curve, isi da cu parerea subalternul.<br />- Poftim !? Nevastă-mea e din Brazilia ! răspunde şeful nervos.<br />- Da ? Şi la ce echipă a jucat ?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1980411151190930962?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-82680675463750314082010-09-11T01:45:00.000-07:002010-09-11T02:19:26.089-07:00<div style="background:#000000;width:600px;height:350px"><embed flashVars="playerVars=showStats=no|autoPlay=no|" src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/5176220/drunk_guy_fail.swf" width="600" height="350" wmode="transparent" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" name="Metacafe_5176220" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></div><div style="font-size:12px;"><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/5176220/drunk_guy_fail/"></a><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8268067546375031408?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-42635926124358656632010-09-11T00:12:00.000-07:002010-09-11T00:15:02.263-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TIsr8fkGvMI/AAAAAAAAARs/r8nFcO2fiHw/s1600/Inteligentza.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TIsr8fkGvMI/AAAAAAAAARs/r8nFcO2fiHw/s400/Inteligentza.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5515550486910385346" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4263592612435865663?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-70426179100081144812010-09-02T21:42:00.000-07:002010-09-02T21:46:01.960-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TIB9CqyoU_I/AAAAAAAAARk/12f61SQB62o/s1600/123.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 375px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TIB9CqyoU_I/AAAAAAAAARk/12f61SQB62o/s400/123.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512543428701344754" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7042617910008114481?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-11116434143655789872010-08-30T04:33:00.002-07:002010-08-30T04:38:44.865-07:00<span style="font-weight: bold;">Elena Paparizou Nikos Aliagas - Zilia Monaksia </span><br /><object width="600" height="375"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/G1CJUSUmzo0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/G1CJUSUmzo0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="375"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1111643414365578987?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-73109836098090281902010-08-28T08:15:00.000-07:002010-08-28T08:16:22.161-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;">Un tip merge la incorporare in marina. In timp ce i se completau actele, este intrebat:<br />- Stiti sa inotati?<br />- Da ce, nu aveti vapoare?</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7310983609809028190?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-43183779920901669512010-08-28T07:59:00.002-07:002010-08-28T08:04:18.000-07:00<div style="background:#000000;width:600px;height:375px"><embed flashVars="playerVars=showStats=no|autoPlay=no|" src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/5108076/woman_luckiest_accidents_hd.swf" width="600" height="375" wmode="transparent" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" name="Metacafe_5108076" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></div><div style="font-size:12px;"><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/5108076/woman_luckiest_accidents_hd/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4318377992090166951?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-12391644623230812532010-08-18T01:46:00.000-07:002010-08-18T01:47:34.977-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TGueF2ahi1I/AAAAAAAAARU/wlJWoD0Zpaw/s1600/1a.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 375px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TGueF2ahi1I/AAAAAAAAARU/wlJWoD0Zpaw/s400/1a.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5506668792733862738" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1239164462323081253?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-70219719299865437352010-08-08T03:19:00.000-07:002010-08-18T01:46:31.521-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TF6ExfHlOEI/AAAAAAAAARM/JWW-QmBx330/s1600/p2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 375px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TF6ExfHlOEI/AAAAAAAAARM/JWW-QmBx330/s400/p2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5502981780395079746" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7021971929986543735?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-78622762942264943702010-08-05T08:06:00.000-07:002010-08-05T08:08:00.837-07:00<object width="600" height="375"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/924nfz7E-Tc&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/924nfz7E-Tc&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="385"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7862276294226494370?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-81414553197017576632010-08-05T05:00:00.001-07:002010-08-05T05:02:33.136-07:00<object width="600" height="375"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IZHyUaJy_RI&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IZHyUaJy_RI&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="375"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8141455319701757663?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-25382026412669668662010-08-04T12:10:00.001-07:002010-08-04T12:12:43.256-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TFm7N5t7_KI/AAAAAAAAARE/KioQeeWZK5k/s1600/1b.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TFm7N5t7_KI/AAAAAAAAARE/KioQeeWZK5k/s400/1b.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501634267315960994" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TFm7LrsXXmI/AAAAAAAAAQ8/xZRYqmRqn5I/s1600/3b.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TFm7LrsXXmI/AAAAAAAAAQ8/xZRYqmRqn5I/s400/3b.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5501634229191532130" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2538202641266966866?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-44157781014878184832010-08-04T12:06:00.000-07:002010-08-04T12:13:16.262-07:00<div style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 0, 0); width: 600px; height: 375px;"><embed flashvars="playerVars=showStats=yes|autoPlay=no|videoTitle=Man Argues With An Ibex" src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4941531/man_argues_with_an_ibex.swf" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" name="Metacafe_4941531" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="600" height="350"></embed></div><div style="font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4941531/man_argues_with_an_ibex/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4415778101487818483?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-20698889963553231532010-07-28T10:50:00.001-07:002010-07-28T10:51:17.854-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TFBt_d0p4hI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/2OToHJkTz1c/s1600/mag.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TFBt_d0p4hI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/2OToHJkTz1c/s400/mag.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5499016082124038674" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2069888996355323153?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-70602957599399152122010-07-28T10:47:00.001-07:002010-07-28T10:48:44.766-07:00<span style="font-weight:bold;">Tina Selini (Selectiuni)</span><br /><object width="600" height="375"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zT-dCNqEbZU&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zT-dCNqEbZU&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="375"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7060295759939915212?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-49028376275468087502010-07-26T10:43:00.000-07:002010-07-26T10:47:26.892-07:00Un individ se tot foia nervos pe marginea unei autostrazi aglomerate. Il vede pe un altul pe partea cealalta a soselei, si-l intreaba:<br />- Ba, cum ai reusit sa traversezi acolo ?<br />Celalalt raspunde prompt:<br />- Nici vorba sa traversez. Pe partea asta m-am nascut.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4902837627546808750?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-19463431630862162872010-07-26T10:40:00.000-07:002010-07-26T10:42:54.320-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TE3IqgOgQJI/AAAAAAAAAQs/1qVtMJM7Gl0/s1600/alc.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 375px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TE3IqgOgQJI/AAAAAAAAAQs/1qVtMJM7Gl0/s400/alc.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5498271352620073106" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1946343163086216287?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-68705554173903597162010-07-26T10:34:00.000-07:002010-07-26T10:38:29.982-07:00<span style="font-weight:bold;">Thanos Petrelis - Elli Kokkinou - Adiaforos </span><span style="font-weight:bold;">(Dezinteresat)</span><br /><object width="600" height="375"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xaa6am?additionalInfos=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xaa6am?additionalInfos=0" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="600" height="375"></embed></object><br /><b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xaa6am_elli-kokkinou-thanos-petrelis-adiaf_music"></a></b><br /><i><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/Yellowpi"></a>. - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/ro/channel/music/featured/1"></a></i><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-6870555417390359716?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-74939170678931020172010-07-25T07:51:00.000-07:002010-07-25T07:53:27.883-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TExPzwNxDQI/AAAAAAAAAQk/WiaRBkQL-fc/s1600/Diferente.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TExPzwNxDQI/AAAAAAAAAQk/WiaRBkQL-fc/s400/Diferente.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5497856995647098114" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7493917067893102017?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-18838144441847736252010-07-10T12:41:00.003-07:002010-07-12T04:56:13.539-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TDsCyvy4ckI/AAAAAAAAAP8/9OLc-L39pBo/s1600/cana.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 375px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TDsCyvy4ckI/AAAAAAAAAP8/9OLc-L39pBo/s400/cana.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5492987241355047490" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TDjNBWh_r_I/AAAAAAAAAPw/JCAfIC2_0no/s1600/cana.jpg"><span><span></span></span></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1883814444184773625?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-79162136701224033292010-07-08T00:37:00.001-07:002010-07-08T00:39:47.018-07:00- Domnule vanzator, as dori doua stergatoare de parbriz pentru trabantul meu.<br />- Mi se pare un schimb corect.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7916213670122403329?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-18659828123025846002010-07-06T00:05:00.002-07:002010-07-06T23:12:38.323-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TDQavGP6IRI/AAAAAAAAAPo/_tUGoWSCpwc/s1600/ban.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 600px; height: 375px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TDQavGP6IRI/AAAAAAAAAPo/_tUGoWSCpwc/s400/ban.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491043242104987922" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TDLVq7GRoJI/AAAAAAAAAPc/oOqXfmzVrYk/s1600/ban.jpg"><span><span></span></span></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1865982812302584600?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-6380014692037123832010-07-05T23:52:00.000-07:002010-07-05T23:52:48.746-07:00<object width="600" height="375"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/v71Dtj2W7pw&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/v71Dtj2W7pw&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1?rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="375"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-638001469203712383?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-79391843132786927942010-07-04T09:00:00.000-07:002010-07-11T07:45:31.337-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:.7in 1.25in .7in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TDCypY0bBRI/AAAAAAAAAPM/aGGe4e8D6Mc/s1600/sa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TDCypY0bBRI/AAAAAAAAAPM/aGGe4e8D6Mc/s200/sa.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /><br /><b>Motto</b> : A incerca inseamna a minti. Nu exista “a incerca”. Faci o treaba sau n-o faci. Ai rezultate in viata sau gasesti scuze pentru esecuri. – Dick Sutphen</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /><br /><br />Nu ne nastem toti cu sanse egale. Egalitatea prevazuta de Constitutie este una de ordin doctrinar. Practic vorbind, cu totii suntem mai mult decat diferiti. Material, intelectual si sub orice alt aspect. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Copilul creste si incepe sa dezvolte o viziune proprie asupra lumii. Singur isi hotaraste viitorul. Ramane cu ceea ce i se ofera sau isi dezvolta propria personalitate, cu aspiratii, motivatii si provocari pe care singur si le stabileste. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Sa consideram lucrurile din perspectiva cuiva care nu s-a nascut in puf si caruia nu i s-au facut toate poftele. <br /><a name='more'></a>Mama si tata nu i-au putut asigura o copilarie lipsita de griji. Problemele materiale au fost mereu la ordinea zilei. Ce poate face cineva aflat intr-o asemenea situatie ? Se poate multumi cu nivelul de trai cu care e obisnuit, cu o viata de mana a doua. Sau, poate sa-si imagineze altfel viata lui, sa aiba aspiratii importante, pe care sa doreasca sa le implineasca. Unde vreau sa ajung ? Nimeni nu e blocat intr-un cocon inexpugnabil. Nimeni nu este limitat la o viata pe care nu si-o doreste. Totul poate fi transformat prin puterea gandului. Devenim ceea ce gandim. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Nu suntem asa cum ne dorim, pentru ca, in sinea noastra, inca nu am dezvoltat imaginea celui care dorim sa devenim. Daca am vrea ca viata noastra sa fie altfel, am avea in primul rand un plan. Un calator care pleaca din punctul A si vrea sa ajunga in punctul B are trasat in minte scopul. Punctul B este capatul de linie, obiectivul urmarit. Daca ne traim viata fara un punct B in care sa vrem sa ajungem, inseamna ca ratacim undeva de-a lungul drumului. Drum care se traduce prin viata noastra. Oameni mai mult sau mai putin bine intentionati apar in calea noastra. Suntem trasi in stanga si-n dreapta dupa cum unul sau altul are interes. Cert este ca la destinatie nu mai ajungem, sau ajungem mult prea tarziu. Trebuie sa incercam sa facem lucrurile la timp, cata vreme mai putem manevra vehiculul de care dispunem: noi insine. Suntem singura resursa certa de care dispunem, intr-o mare de incertitudini.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Nu traim intr-o lume ideala. Variabilele sunt enorm de multe. Daca nu stim ce vrem de la viata, vor sti altii pentru noi. Suntem siguri ca vrem sa fim asa cum vor altii sa fim ? Sau avem un minim de respect fata de sine si hotaram noi pentru noi, alegem noi drumul pe care vrem s-o luam ? </div><div class="MsoNormal">Important este ca nu pornim de la zero. Avem un capital imens, faptul ca suntem in viata. Miliarde de oameni au trait pe Terra, iar acum sunt istorie. Nu mai pot misca nici macar un pai pe planeta asta. Dar noi, cei care SUNTEM, avem un cec in alb reprezentat de propria existenta. Prin munca, vointa si un tel urmarit cu cerbicie putem deveni ceea ce vrem sa devenim. Nu ne datoreaza cineva implinirea nevoilor si viselor noastre, noi insine, prin propriile puteri suntem cei care putem ajunge la rezultatul dorit. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Singurul mod in care puteti deveni cineva sau in care puteti atinge un obiectiv este acela de a actiona. Nimeni n-a realizat ceva vreodata doar stand si meditand la implinire, sau visand realizari marete cu ochii deschisi. Si nu va puteti permite sa fiti lasi. Sunt destui pe lumea asta. Jean-Paul Sartre spunea candva ca nimeni nu se naste las. Cu totii facem alegerea de a deveni sau nu niste lasi. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Trebuie sa avem incredere in noi insine. Daca lucrurile nu stau acum ca pe roze, asta n-are nici cea mai mica importanta in economia lucrurilor. Important e rezultatul, unde ajungem, prezentul e doar o etapa in devenirea fiecaruia.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Nu e mereu soare pe strada noastra, mai si ploua, iar uneori pare ca ploaia nu se mai opreste. Dar depinde de noi daca traim cu soarele sau cu ploaia in suflet. Pentru ca nimeni, niciodata, nu ne poate comanda cum sa ne simtim. Poate incerca, asta da. Dar ultimul cuvant ne apartine doar noua. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Asadar, oameni buni, zambiti fiecarei zile cu care sunteti cadorisiti. De mama natura, divinitate sau de orice alta entitate in care credeti. Important este ca SUNTETI, ca viitorul exista si poate fi prelucrat de voi. Alegeti sa vedeti partea buna a lucrurilor, sa va incruntati mai putin, sa va bucurati de tot ce va inconjoara. Pentru ca tot ce traiti acum este un dar ireversibil, care poate fi modelat cu intelepciune, cu ganduri bune. Iar la sfarsit de drum trebuie sa va puteti spune : « Am realizat ceea ce mi-am propus, nu am trait degeaba. Viata mea nu a fost formata doar din rasuri si chicoteli. Cand am dat de greu, am facut fata cu demnitate incercarilor. M-am luptat pentru fericirea mea, pentru dorintele si scopurile mele. Am stiut ce am vrut si mi-am urmarit visele. Nu m-am lasat dat la o parte. Am trait, nu am lasat ca viata mea sa fie traita de altii.»</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal">Acesta a fost primul (si poate ultimul) episod despre gandirea optimista, pozitiva, orientata catre indeplinirea scopurilor, scris in exclusivitate pentru cititorii <b>antren.blogspot.com</b>. Daca mai doriti sa urmeze si alte episoade centrate pe aceeasi tema, « manifestati-va » prin rubrica de comentarii. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Fiecare dintre voi poate contribui cu texte motivator-inspirationale. Puteti sa le trimiteti folosind butonul « contact ». Cele mai interesante vor fi publicate cu specificarea autorului (eventual cu inserarea unui link catre voi).</div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7939184313278692794?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-77831616947211344532010-07-02T03:27:00.000-07:002010-07-13T09:18:49.003-07:00<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1938100&amp;fullscreen=1" width="600" height="375"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="movie" quality="best" value="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1938100&amp;fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1938100&amp;fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" allowscriptaccess="always" width="600" height="375"></embed></object><div style="padding: 5px 0pt; text-align: center; width: 600px;"><a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/videos"></a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/pictures"></a><a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/"></a>.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7783161694721134453?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-67123540002463691992010-07-01T04:42:00.001-07:002010-07-01T04:44:26.140-07:00<embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4833385/girl_plunges_through_trampoline.swf" width="600" height="375" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" name="Metacafe_4833385"> </embed><br><font size = 1><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4833385/girl_plunges_through_trampoline/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-6712354000246369199?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-58009236607097991642010-07-01T04:38:00.000-07:002010-07-01T04:38:37.105-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCx96v6azWI/AAAAAAAAAPE/30Xt4fV_H5I/s1600/prot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="375" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCx96v6azWI/AAAAAAAAAPE/30Xt4fV_H5I/s400/prot.jpg" width="570" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5800923660709799164?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-39712574416046377542010-06-29T12:28:00.001-07:002010-06-29T12:29:04.970-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCpJaJ1dEZI/AAAAAAAAAO8/nG6i44zyAUM/s1600/restaurant.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCpJaJ1dEZI/AAAAAAAAAO8/nG6i44zyAUM/s400/restaurant.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488279809569919378" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-3971257441604637754?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-27302480140046636112010-06-29T12:24:00.000-07:002010-06-29T12:26:27.013-07:00<span style="font-weight: bold;">Antique - Dinata</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Posibil)</span><br /><object width="600" height="3500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x2zaqy"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x2zaqy" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2730248014004663611?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-6078553053279268472010-06-29T12:20:00.001-07:002010-06-29T12:22:03.575-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCpHgNdhn7I/AAAAAAAAAO0/ji1n1eftG2Q/s1600/telecomanda.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCpHgNdhn7I/AAAAAAAAAO0/ji1n1eftG2Q/s400/telecomanda.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488277714599255986" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-607855305327926847?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-49785305079259981122010-06-29T11:27:00.001-07:002010-06-29T11:29:10.397-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCo7JXh37vI/AAAAAAAAAOs/B3OXKVjvRwA/s1600/mar.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 370px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCo7JXh37vI/AAAAAAAAAOs/B3OXKVjvRwA/s400/mar.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488264128025325298" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4978530507925998112?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-83932790378246705402010-06-27T05:38:00.001-07:002010-06-27T11:06:57.461-07:00<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">-Mami, mami, cum se numesc cei care locuiesc intr-un complex rezidential ?</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">-Rezidenti complexati, puisor.</p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8393279037824670540?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-35278721066805287772010-06-25T12:02:00.000-07:002010-06-25T12:07:34.281-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">"Cioc, cioc" la poarta raiului. Sfantul Petru deschide. In fata usii, nimeni.</div><div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Peste 5 minute, iar "cioc-cioc". Sfantul Petru iar deschide, se uita in jur, nimeni.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Iar "cioc-cioc". De data asta, sfantul Petru era pregatit dupa usa, deschide usa cu putere si mai apuca sa-l vada pe unul care dispare rapid.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Fire-ai tu al naibii. Te tii de prostii, bati pe la usa si te joci cu nervii mei!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La care omul, cu tristete in glas, departandu-se in viteza:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce sa faaac, daca ma tot resusciteaza astiaaaa...</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-3527872106680528777?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-43426900391971859422010-06-25T10:00:00.000-07:002010-06-25T10:02:48.892-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCTgokLW1SI/AAAAAAAAAOk/zE5O46HO8dw/s1600/1z.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TCTgokLW1SI/AAAAAAAAAOk/zE5O46HO8dw/s400/1z.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486757233554806050" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4342690039197185942?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-29958925313717954872010-06-21T12:05:00.000-07:002010-06-22T08:26:29.925-07:00<meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">Discutie intre doi amici:</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">- Bunicu stia exact anul, luna, ziua, ora si minutul in care va muri.</p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">- Cum asa ? </p><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal">- I-a spus judecatorul.</p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2995892531371795487?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-60724270965536307712010-06-21T02:08:00.000-07:002010-06-21T02:10:54.719-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TB8sTkfBfzI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/b10LGUd8NMM/s1600/cainele.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TB8sTkfBfzI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/b10LGUd8NMM/s400/cainele.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485151585883488050" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-6072427096553630771?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-45132942607701005872010-06-21T02:07:00.000-07:002010-06-21T02:08:46.321-07:00<object width="600" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ar8LYrqXePM&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ar8LYrqXePM&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4513294260770100587?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-84202715747884605152010-06-20T12:20:00.002-07:002010-06-20T12:21:49.956-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TB5qGdPcIwI/AAAAAAAAAOI/3_-YMqEKVlg/s1600/par.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TB5qGdPcIwI/AAAAAAAAAOI/3_-YMqEKVlg/s400/par.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5484938055344988930" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8420271574788460515?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-89696943596947636572010-06-20T10:08:00.001-07:002010-06-20T10:11:34.889-07:00<b>Elli Kokkinou - Den Ginete (Nu e posibil)</b><br /><object height="350" width="600"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7aL3zeuAPps&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7aL3zeuAPps&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8969694359694763657?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-20288566948881974832010-06-20T09:34:00.000-07:002010-06-20T09:41:20.525-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Un tip certat cu legea intra intr-un magazin pentru animale, aflat la parterul unui bloc, urland:</div><div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Am la mine o bomba, iesiti toti in 20 de secunde !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Din spatele magazinului se aude o broasca testoasa:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Bai, ce magar esti !</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2028856694888197483?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-47053865450902975512010-06-19T13:09:00.000-07:002010-06-19T13:10:33.572-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TB0j_91sELI/AAAAAAAAAOA/YIEp93sFHwU/s1600/2q.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TB0j_91sELI/AAAAAAAAAOA/YIEp93sFHwU/s400/2q.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5484579503045611698" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4705386545090297551?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-53925466959615896752010-06-19T13:07:00.000-07:002010-06-19T13:08:26.114-07:00<object width="600" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mf7gpHS5RxQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mf7gpHS5RxQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5392546695961589675?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-86077407145592397272010-06-18T12:44:00.001-07:002010-06-18T12:45:33.403-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBvMw7LtTRI/AAAAAAAAAN4/NREmUdzOFjs/s1600/1q.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBvMw7LtTRI/AAAAAAAAAN4/NREmUdzOFjs/s400/1q.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5484202112146296082" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8607740714559239727?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-47415754466953799032010-06-18T12:33:00.000-07:002010-06-18T12:37:29.118-07:00<span style="font-weight:bold;">Giannoulis Vazaios - Pitsirika</span><br /><div style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% rgb(0, 0, 0); width: 400px; height: 348px;"><embed flashvars="playerVars=showStats=no|autoPlay=no|" src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/1766717/m_gianoulis_l_bazaios_pitsirika.swf" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" name="Metacafe_1766717" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="600" height="350"></embed><div style="font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1766717/m_gianoulis_l_bazaios_pitsirika/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></div></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4741575446695379903?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-63560469706462817202010-06-17T09:31:00.000-07:002010-06-17T09:40:32.157-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBpPse3JefI/AAAAAAAAANw/emWnKtG9BMc/s1600/sw.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBpPse3JefI/AAAAAAAAANw/emWnKtG9BMc/s400/sw.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483783121894210034" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-6356046970646281720?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-47380523137276665622010-06-16T11:36:00.000-07:002010-06-16T11:39:56.581-07:00<span style="font-weight:bold;">Anna Vissi - Kanenas</span> <span style="font-weight:bold;">(Nimeni)</span><br /><object width="600" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gK6kpWAWgS8&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gK6kpWAWgS8&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4738052313727666562?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-43268954749733761932010-06-16T11:29:00.000-07:002010-06-16T11:30:38.379-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBkYNHwxoOI/AAAAAAAAANo/VBHe7aADrsM/s1600/Ospitalitate.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBkYNHwxoOI/AAAAAAAAANo/VBHe7aADrsM/s400/Ospitalitate.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483440635001282786" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4326895474973376193?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-91000417772999222712010-06-15T11:25:00.000-07:002010-06-15T11:27:04.080-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBfF1qyww6I/AAAAAAAAANg/5TEntTQUoHE/s1600/Estimare+.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBfF1qyww6I/AAAAAAAAANg/5TEntTQUoHE/s400/Estimare+.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5483068597157807010" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-9100041777299922271?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-63976490943798936442010-06-15T10:45:00.000-07:002010-09-02T04:12:45.125-07:00<span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />Helena Paparizou - Tha 'mai allios</span><br /><object width="600" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x9kfml?additionalInfos=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/x9kfml?additionalInfos=0" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><br /><b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9kfml_helena-paparizou-tha-mai-allios_music"></a></b><br /><i>Î<a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/paraskevie"></a>. - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/ro/channel/music/featured/1"></a></i><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-6397649094379893644?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-61324500696365745592010-06-14T11:36:00.000-07:002010-06-14T11:37:29.301-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBZ20Jo5b1I/AAAAAAAAANY/HaYJDi162wM/s1600/moda.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBZ20Jo5b1I/AAAAAAAAANY/HaYJDi162wM/s400/moda.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5482700234682888018" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-6132450069636574559?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-78783821889271295972010-06-14T11:34:00.001-07:002010-06-14T11:36:09.979-07:00<embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4747092/70_pool_trick_shots.swf" width="600" height="350" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" name="Metacafe_4747092"> </embed><br><font size = 1><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4747092/70_pool_trick_shots/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7878382188927129597?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-77140747701059591192010-06-12T10:12:00.000-07:002010-06-12T10:14:11.857-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBPAHgQ60QI/AAAAAAAAANQ/4gtrC3Mokb4/s1600/q.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBPAHgQ60QI/AAAAAAAAANQ/4gtrC3Mokb4/s400/q.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481936406592540930" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7714074770105959119?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-83048703110621954012010-06-09T23:30:00.000-07:002010-06-09T23:34:23.621-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBCG-zwgXiI/AAAAAAAAAM8/9Fpt5TZYxD0/s1600/panda.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 470px; height: 450px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TBCG-zwgXiI/AAAAAAAAAM8/9Fpt5TZYxD0/s400/panda.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5481029160113561122" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8304870311062195401?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-31860009500427009112010-06-09T08:14:00.000-07:002010-06-09T08:29:53.163-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TA-ys3IYJaI/AAAAAAAAAM0/wY2kxIkZjnQ/s1600/stopu.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TA-ys3IYJaI/AAAAAAAAAM0/wY2kxIkZjnQ/s400/stopu.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5480795755316258210" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TA-xe2bd1-I/AAAAAAAAAMs/zhFTZ8UAUoU/s1600/stop.jpg"><span><span></span></span><span><span></span></span></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-3186000950042700911?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-25094990685115458082010-06-04T10:28:00.000-07:002010-06-04T10:29:17.925-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAk3vgRYePI/AAAAAAAAAMk/cltZ1XfcOcg/s1600/6t.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAk3vgRYePI/AAAAAAAAAMk/cltZ1XfcOcg/s400/6t.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478971710929139954" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2509499068511545808?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-43410772571335949242010-06-03T09:21:00.000-07:002010-06-03T09:23:54.107-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAfWiWTsohI/AAAAAAAAAMc/mg0YbEIYZ9Y/s1600/woo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAfWiWTsohI/AAAAAAAAAMc/mg0YbEIYZ9Y/s400/woo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478583357311590930" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4341077257133594924?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-90669362049911287512010-06-02T13:04:00.000-07:002010-06-02T13:08:52.135-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAa6MhE0_0I/AAAAAAAAAMU/X7lx4aIpkJA/s1600/Sculptura+in+gheata.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAa6MhE0_0I/AAAAAAAAAMU/X7lx4aIpkJA/s400/Sculptura+in+gheata.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5478270720942604098" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAa55V_pcUI/AAAAAAAAAMM/3neiu7WcpBc/s1600/1.jpg"><span><span></span></span><span><span></span></span></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-9066936204991128751?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-70168051830246192162010-06-02T13:00:00.001-07:002010-06-02T13:03:00.075-07:00<object width="600" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NUhkuWEUn2s&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NUhkuWEUn2s&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-7016805183024619216?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-58700197032060013912010-06-01T13:04:00.000-07:002010-06-01T13:08:02.385-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAVn8SZDHUI/AAAAAAAAAME/-HcnWvr7PXU/s1600/fo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAVn8SZDHUI/AAAAAAAAAME/-HcnWvr7PXU/s400/fo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477898807192788290" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5870019703206001391?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-52343480888992399402010-05-30T22:30:00.000-07:002010-06-01T13:07:36.735-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TANJtsekx_I/AAAAAAAAALQ/w9F9TO6lOf0/s1600/bq.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TANJtsekx_I/AAAAAAAAALQ/w9F9TO6lOf0/s400/bq.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477302621194995698" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TANJpATOqAI/AAAAAAAAALI/T0fNrqmuPzs/s1600/aq.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TANJpATOqAI/AAAAAAAAALI/T0fNrqmuPzs/s400/aq.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5477302540616771586" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5234348088899239940?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-28433654843476859202010-05-29T10:59:00.000-07:002010-05-29T12:00:07.824-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAFWaaqzbSI/AAAAAAAAAKI/8bRnzkaGXuQ/s1600/b.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAFWaaqzbSI/AAAAAAAAAKI/8bRnzkaGXuQ/s400/b.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476753633694674210" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2843365484347685920?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-81134128235197559442010-05-29T10:57:00.000-07:002010-05-29T10:58:46.289-07:00<embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4683003/amazing_the_dog_say.swf" width="600" height="350" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" name="Metacafe_4683003"> </embed><br><font size = 1><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4683003/amazing_the_dog_say/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8113412823519755944?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-52592930129333237112010-05-28T12:23:00.000-07:002010-06-01T13:08:48.838-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAE0nfWmTII/AAAAAAAAAKA/vSqPxgsJjKY/s1600/s.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAE0nfWmTII/AAAAAAAAAKA/vSqPxgsJjKY/s400/s.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476716474895060098" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/TAAYfxUfvRI/AAAAAAAAAJ4/v49QaTMdQbk/s1600/Scuter+abuzat.jpg"><span><span></span></span><span><span></span></span></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5259293012933323711?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-5649583014842410162010-05-28T12:14:00.000-07:002010-05-28T12:22:46.039-07:00<embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4670037/amazing_soccer_girl.swf" width="600" height="350" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" name="Metacafe_4670037"> </embed><br><font size = 1><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4670037/amazing_soccer_girl/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-564958301484241016?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-35519206853269433492010-05-28T04:38:00.000-07:002010-05-28T04:39:31.382-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_-rTEz4kTI/AAAAAAAAAJw/vWjk-X9ss7A/s1600/t.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_-rTEz4kTI/AAAAAAAAAJw/vWjk-X9ss7A/s400/t.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476284016103035186" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-3551920685326943349?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-39785032633882376762010-05-28T04:35:00.000-07:002010-05-28T04:38:10.480-07:00<embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4664118/stupid_woman_driver.swf" width="600" height="350" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" name="Metacafe_4664118"> </embed><br><font size = 1><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4664118/stupid_woman_driver/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></font><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-3978503263388237676?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-37082760236890421832010-05-27T01:01:00.000-07:002010-05-27T01:02:31.695-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_4m68Qi2tI/AAAAAAAAAJo/Y0bjf6WElxk/s1600/67.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_4m68Qi2tI/AAAAAAAAAJo/Y0bjf6WElxk/s400/67.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475856990978890450" border="0" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-3708276023689042183?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-38909192800294784232010-05-27T00:55:00.000-07:002010-05-27T01:00:45.966-07:00<embed src="http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4515007/wife_destroys_husbands_car_video.swf" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" name="Metacafe_4515007" width="600" height="350"></embed><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><a href="http://www.metacafe.com/watch/4515007/wife_destroys_husbands_car_video/"></a> - <a href="http://www.metacafe.com/"></a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-3890919280029478423?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-58054067100038505142010-05-26T06:12:00.000-07:002010-05-26T06:13:44.781-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_0eQMkjZdI/AAAAAAAAAI8/VxABOSaW4bA/s1600/1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 570px; height: 350px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_0eQMkjZdI/AAAAAAAAAI8/VxABOSaW4bA/s400/1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5475565985553671634" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5805406710003850514?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-41677235613944129302010-05-26T06:04:00.000-07:002010-05-26T06:17:55.339-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><object width="600" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Lg9qnWg9kak&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Lg9qnWg9kak&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="600" height="350"></embed></object> <br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="place"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style=";font-family:&quot;;font-size:12pt;" >Un arhitect din <st1:place st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place> a proiectat ca un apartament de 32 metri patrati sa poata lua 24 de infatisari diferite, fiecare cu functionalitatea ei. Schimbarile se fac prin intermediul unor panouri si a unor pereti care culiseaza</span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4167723561394412930?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-90368771941282169872010-05-25T12:28:00.000-07:002010-05-25T12:28:27.679-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_wkTU5LBXI/AAAAAAAAAI0/7MYbDqYAVsM/s1600/1s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="350" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_wkTU5LBXI/AAAAAAAAAI0/7MYbDqYAVsM/s640/1s.jpg" width="570" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-9036877194128216987?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-80758335938139239502010-05-25T05:26:00.000-07:002010-05-25T05:58:32.331-07:00<object height="350" width="600"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xd4ylg"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xd4ylg" width="600" height="350" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8075833593813923950?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-16340762078755202912010-05-23T23:44:00.001-07:002010-05-24T03:28:39.529-07:00<span style="font-weight: bold;">Ce vreti de la mine ?</span><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ohmKRytJI/AAAAAAAAAIo/nYgQZMEWE8g/s1600/2q.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474725236499985554" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ohmKRytJI/AAAAAAAAAIo/nYgQZMEWE8g/s400/2q.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Puffy</span><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ohiVTY1cI/AAAAAAAAAIg/5SCLDyJdDgA/s1600/8q.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474725170739992002" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ohiVTY1cI/AAAAAAAAAIg/5SCLDyJdDgA/s400/8q.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dolce far niente</span><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ohMF23enI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/PaLYPze3HTg/s1600/4q.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474724788636711538" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ohMF23enI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/PaLYPze3HTg/s400/4q.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /><a name='more'></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ora siestei</span><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_og5VTrmPI/AAAAAAAAAIA/WNHDnG5FBA0/s1600/5q.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474724466366585074" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_og5VTrmPI/AAAAAAAAAIA/WNHDnG5FBA0/s400/5q.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Un pic de prosteala</span>.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> Goofy gen</span><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ogjg90BcI/AAAAAAAAAHo/tjGfUtHG9rQ/s1600/7q.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474724091538965954" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ogjg90BcI/AAAAAAAAAHo/tjGfUtHG9rQ/s400/7q.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Cautati cutia aia mare de cereale ?</span><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ogdNtvUEI/AAAAAAAAAHg/Erc9BcA0ZEo/s1600/6q.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474723983292059714" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ogdNtvUEI/AAAAAAAAAHg/Erc9BcA0ZEo/s400/6q.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1634076207875520291?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-29279584292906324712010-05-23T23:26:00.000-07:002010-05-23T23:26:42.888-07:00<object width="600" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xde2hq"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xde2hq" width="600" height="350" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2927958429290632471?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-80811480844078932942010-05-23T01:21:00.000-07:002010-05-23T01:24:20.725-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_jlMi2b06I/AAAAAAAAAF8/qdl3xm6Tp1w/s1600/q.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_jlMi2b06I/AAAAAAAAAF8/qdl3xm6Tp1w/s640/q.jpg" width="570" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_jlRvRaHjI/AAAAAAAAAGE/4g38zfoacck/s1600/w.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_jlRvRaHjI/AAAAAAAAAGE/4g38zfoacck/s640/w.jpg" width="570" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_jlbCWfsNI/AAAAAAAAAGM/msSEmTfGQL0/s1600/e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_jlbCWfsNI/AAAAAAAAAGM/msSEmTfGQL0/s640/e.jpg" width="570" /></a></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-8081148084407893294?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-67104560212193178552010-05-23T01:15:00.000-07:002010-05-23T23:28:16.801-07:00<b>Un caine dresat face tot felul de giumbuslucuri</b><br /><object width="600" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hahaclips.net/emb.aspx/video~amazing_dog_tricks/Amazing_dog_tricks/Funny_videos/"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.hahaclips.net/emb.aspx/video~amazing_dog_tricks/Amazing_dog_tricks/Funny_videos/" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.hahaclips.net" target="_blank"></a><br /><b>Melodia "Paparazzi" (Lady Gaga) in interpretarea unui pusti de 13 ani </b><object height="350" width="600"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hahaclips.net/emb.aspx/video~amazing_lady_gaga_cover/Amazing_Lady_Gaga_cover/Funny_videos/"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.hahaclips.net/emb.aspx/video~amazing_lady_gaga_cover/Amazing_Lady_Gaga_cover/Funny_videos/" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="600" height="350"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.hahaclips.net/" target="_blank"></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-6710456021219317855?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-90255063148575066682010-05-22T10:55:00.000-07:002010-05-22T11:00:56.225-07:00<span style="font-weight: bold;">Fata</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ga6QMSAyI/AAAAAAAAAFs/H6b15qk5zzg/s1600/1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ga6QMSAyI/AAAAAAAAAFs/H6b15qk5zzg/s400/1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474154935150052130" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Spate</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ga3C3vtOI/AAAAAAAAAFk/UpF8dyL63KI/s1600/2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 570px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_ga3C3vtOI/AAAAAAAAAFk/UpF8dyL63KI/s400/2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474154880034649314" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_gavqkmHnI/AAAAAAAAAFc/H6PjigZ3zC4/s1600/1.jpg"><span><span></span></span></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-9025506314857506668?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-54472570778473107922010-05-20T02:59:00.000-07:002010-05-22T10:04:16.210-07:00<b>SLAM-DUNK cu dubla rotatie completă</b> <br /><object width="350" height="590"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xaddw"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xaddw" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="600" height="350"></embed></object> <br /><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"><style><br /><!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} - </style><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"><style><br /><!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --><br /></style><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p style="text-align: justify;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Taurian Fontenette</span>, un american de 27 de ani de la Dallas Generals, este primul jucator de baschet care a reuşit un slam-dunk cu o rotaţie de 720 de grade ! Absolut incredibil !</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5447257077847310792?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-18849641300784603372010-05-16T02:58:00.000-07:002010-05-17T02:09:15.123-07:00<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nu i-a spus nimeni ca trenul calca, nu ... ?</span><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_BBbcxD-WI/AAAAAAAAAEg/D14oAY4Vw3Y/s1600/7.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471945487089400162" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S_BBbcxD-WI/AAAAAAAAAEg/D14oAY4Vw3Y/s400/7.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ia mai toarn-un paharel la baietii...</span><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_l79SZt2I/AAAAAAAAAEE/i-KVSN6ftB0/s1600/dogbear.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471844890505230178" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_l79SZt2I/AAAAAAAAAEE/i-KVSN6ftB0/s400/dogbear.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Cheia comica sta in textul de la baza imaginii</span><br /><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471840267284396754" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_hu2cqOtI/AAAAAAAAADk/HgSfcyNq0cA/s400/5.jpg" style="display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /><span style="font-weight: bold;">&nbsp;<a name='more'></a></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ceva secrete ?</span><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_LAczDcuI/AAAAAAAAADc/iuCEAWJUDFc/s1600/d.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471815280869208802" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_LAczDcuI/AAAAAAAAADc/iuCEAWJUDFc/s400/d.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Iluzie optica</span><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_J46_0naI/AAAAAAAAAC8/M8QXVBaDc00/s1600/3353736532_1e56f75986_o.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471814052025245090" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_J46_0naI/AAAAAAAAAC8/M8QXVBaDc00/s400/3353736532_1e56f75986_o.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Te-ai ars !</span><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_GJhhBqqI/AAAAAAAAACs/DeP3H9sdXC8/s1600/c.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471809939196455586" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_GJhhBqqI/AAAAAAAAACs/DeP3H9sdXC8/s400/c.JPG" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sa ma alint un picut.</span><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_GGyC67RI/AAAAAAAAACk/nuDGXrKUDSo/s1600/b.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471809892093979922" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_GGyC67RI/AAAAAAAAACk/nuDGXrKUDSo/s400/b.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bricolaj</span><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_GClknAAI/AAAAAAAAACc/DUTX8H8KLSo/s1600/a.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471809820026142722" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_4DmYbwXz37k/S-_GClknAAI/AAAAAAAAACc/DUTX8H8KLSo/s400/a.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto; text-align: center; width: 570px;" /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1884964130078460337?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-36291591670559996852010-05-16T01:23:00.002-07:002010-05-20T04:34:17.690-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} span.textnormal {mso-style-name:text_normal;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p></o:p><span lang="FR">Nimic nu uneste mai mult oamenii dacat <i>rasul.</i><b> </b></span><b>( L. N. Tolstoi )</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b> <br /></b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Râsul e ca ştergătorul de parbriz: nu opreşte ploaia, dar îţi permite să îţi vezi de drum. <b>(Jeanne Wasbro)</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b> <br /></b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="textnormal"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dintre toate zilele, pierduta e aceea in care nu ai ras. <b>( Chamfort )</b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b> </b><br /><a name='more'></a><b></b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="textnormal"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="textnormal"><span lang="FR">Cuvintele bune pretuiesc mult si costa putin. </span><b>(George Herbert)</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span class="textnormal"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR">Toata lumea se plange ca nu are memorie, dar nimeni nu se vaita ca nu are logica.<b>(La Rochefoucault)</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span lang="FR"><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR">Focul intareste intotdeauna ceea ce nu poate distruge.<b>(Oscar Wilde)</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span lang="FR"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR">Viata poate fi inteleasa numai privind inapoi, <i>dar</i> trebuie traita privind inainte. <b>(Kirkegaard)</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span lang="FR"><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span lang="FR"><o:p> </o:p></span></b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR">Libertatea inseamna sa fim responsabili pentru noi insine. <b>( Friedrich Nietzsche )</b> <br /><br />Timiditatea - un defect al oamenilor mari, tupeul - defectul oamenilor mici<b>.(Maurice Coyaud) <br /></b> <br />Nu trebuie sa fii trist ca n-ai fost remarcat. Fii trist ca n-ai facut nimic remarcabil.<b>(Confucius)</b> <br /><br />Bine ne pot face numai unii oameni; rau ne pot face toti.<b>(Gracian)</b> <br /><br />Cea mai inversunata lupta este cu tine insuti. Te afli in ambele tabere.<b>(Voltaire)</b> <br /><br />Numai dupa invidia altora iti dai seama de propria ta valoare.<b>(Tudor Musatescu)</b> <br /><br />Nu judecati oamenii dupa cei cu care se aduna. Nu uitati ca Iuda avea amici ireprosabili.<b>(Ernest Hemingway)</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR">Vrei sa fii iubit, iubeste ! </span><b>( Seneca )</b><span lang="FR"><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"> <br />Daca gasesti un drum fara obstacole, probabil ca drumul acela nu duce nicaieri.<b>(J.F.Kennedy)</b> <br /><br />Inainte sa va suparati pe cel care va pune la treaba, amintiti-va ca fara presiune nu se formeaza diamantele.<b>(Mary Case)</b> <br /><br />Experienta este cel mai dur profesor, pentru ca intai iti da testul si apoi iti spune care era lectia.<b>(Vernon Law)</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span lang="FR">Iubirea este arhitectul universului. <b>( Hesiod )</b> <br /><br />Toti traim sub acelasi cer, dar nu toti avem acelasi orizont.<b>(Konrad Adenauer)</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"> <br />Este de o mie de ori mai bine sa fii optimist si sa te inseli, decat sa fii pesimist si sa ai dreptate.<b>(Jack Penn)</b> <br /><br />Munca in echipa presupune in primul rand sa-ti pierzi jumatate din timp explicandu-le celorlalti de ce nu au dreptate.<b>(George Wolinski)</b> <br /><br />Nu-ti fie teama ca inaintezi prea incet. Teme-te daca te opresti.<b>(Sun Tzu)</b> <br /><br />Oamenii sunt ca vinurile. Cu timpul, fie devin din ce in ce mai buni, fie se transforma in otet<b>.(Papa Ioan al XXIII-lea)</b> <br /><br />Daca vrei sa stii cine este un om, da-i o functie de conducere.<b>(Robert Brasillach) <br /></b> <br />Lenea este mama tuturor viciilor, dar - fiind o mama - trebuie respectata<b>.(Robert Frost) <br /><br /></b>Cand toata lumea iti da dreptate, ori esti al naibii de destept, ori esti patron.<b>(Andre Birabeau)<o:p></o:p></b></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-3629159167055999685?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-59980339581420079662010-05-16T00:09:00.001-07:002010-05-22T11:40:03.236-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p><b>S</b>tefan Cel Mare in timpul unui important consiliu militar impreuna cu cei mai importanti boieri ai tarii. La un moment dat intra fara sa se mai anunte un soldat obosit de cat alergase:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Maria ta, vin turcii peste noi !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Stefan: Cati sunt ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Vreo 10 mii ! raspunde soldatul.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Bine ! spuse Stefan. Lasa ca-i razbim noi. Numai sa-mi aduceti camasa rosie sa nu vada soldatii nostri daca sunt ranit.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa vreo doua luni povestea se repeta. Dar de data asta turcii erau vreo 20 de mii. Stefan ii linisteste pe cei prezenti si cere sa i se aduca camasa rosie.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Mai trec vreo trei luni si iarasi vine soldatul disperat:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Maria Ta, vin turcii peste noi !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Stefan: Cati sunt?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Soldatul:100 de mii</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Stefan: Du-te si adu-mi pantalonii maro.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>ntr-o dimineata, la o unitate militara, la apelul de dimineata, un comandant, dupa ce saluta soldatii, le spune:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Am pentru voi o veste buna si una rea. Voi incepe cu cea rea. Astazi, fiecare soldat va trebui sa umple 200 de saci cu nisip. Acum vestea cea buna: sunt saci suficienti pentru fiecare.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="State" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>O</b> tipa ii scrie iubitului aflat in armata:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">'Draga George,</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Nu mai pot continua aceasta relatie. Distanta dintre noi este prea mare.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Trebuie sa recunosc ca deja te-am inselat de 2 ori de cand ai plecat si nu cred ca este corect pentru nici unul dintre noi. Imi pare rau. Te rog sa imi trimiti inapoi poza cu mine pe care ti-am trimis-o acum ceva vreme. Cu dragoste, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:state w:st="on">Victoria</st1:state></st1:place>."</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Soldatul cu sentimentele ranite si ochii inlacrimati le-a cerut tuturor camarazilor sai orice fel de poze pe care le au cu iubite, surori sau foste iubite si amante. Pe langa poza cu Victoria, George i-a trimis toate celelalte fotografii cu femei frumoase pe care le-a strans de la prietenii lui. In total erau 58 de fotografii alaturi de scrisoarea care spunea:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">"Draga <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Victoria</st1:place></st1:state>, imi pare rau dar nu-mi pot aminti cine dracu esti. Te rog sa iti cauti poza in teancul de fotografii si sa ti-o iei."</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>S</b>oldatii la raport afara. Vine comandantul si spune:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Mai misca careva ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">O voce din spate raspunde:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pamantul, domnule comandant.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Comandantul:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Cine a spus asta ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Raspunde din nou vocea:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Galileo Galilei.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Comandantul:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Galileo Galilei, un pas in fata mah !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>A</b>mericanii si somalezii in razboi.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Americanii catre tabara somaleza:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Iesi bah de dupa matura!!!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La care se aude:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Nu vrem !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>L</b>a popota unei unitati militare era scris:"Bautura ucide incet,dar sigur."A doua zi, cineva a pus urmatorul afis :"<i>Soldatii nu se tem de moarte</i>".</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>S</b>oldatii americani, japonezi si somalezi se intreceau la tras cu tunul;</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Americanii: 6000 m</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Japonezii: 10000 m</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Somalezii: 20 m</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa ce au tras somalezii, generalul japonez ii spune somalezului:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Bine ma, numai 20 m?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Somalezul raspunde:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Daca esti asa tare, hai sa sufli tu-n teava.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>L</b>a o unitate militara din desert vine un nou comandant. Vazand tipu' o camila legata de un stalp, intreaba ce-i cu ea.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai, stiti domn' sef, raspunde unul mai indraznet, cand mai avem novoie de femei...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Seara comandantul cere sa i se aduca camila in cort. Iese dupa o ora inchieindu-se la pantaloni:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Deci asa o faceti voi, mah?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Noi in general mergem cu ea la bordelul din satul vecin.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>L</b>a instructia de front, dom' plutonier ordona: "Pluton, alinierea in front cate unul! Pentru verificarea bocancilor ridicati piciorul drept"!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Unul din soldati ridica, din gresala, piciorul stang, la care dom' plutonier vazand si un bocanc stang ridicat, striga imediat: "Ba, care ai ridicat amandoua picioarele"?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Un cavaler urma sa plece in cruciada. Isi facu bagajele, puse centura de castitate la nevasta si dadu cheia centurii celui mai bun prieten:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Daca nu ma intorc in 2 ani, o poti avea pe nevasta mea.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Si isi vazu de drum. Dupa o ora de mers, prietenul il ajunge din urma dupa un galop nebun:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bai, ai gresit cheia !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n sergent in permisie merge la o prostituata si o intreaba:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnisoara, acceptati compania mea pentru 200 de lei?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ea zice: Da!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sergentul se intoarce si striga:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Companiee, inaintee mars!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p><br /></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>C</b>omandantul unei unitati ii scoate pe soldati la instructie la marginea unei rape. Il pune pe primul sa stea cu bratele intinse in forma de T, dupa care ii da un sut in fund si il expediaza in rapa.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Il pune pe al doilea sa stea pe vine si dupa aia ii da si lui un sut in fund.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Il pune pe al treilea culcat si repeta actiunea.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La un moment dat vine un soldat si zice:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule comandant permiteti sa raportez, dupa ce terminati cu tetrisul poftiti va rog la masa !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5998033958142007966?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-25177251260559992412010-05-15T23:55:00.001-07:002010-05-22T11:26:42.657-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"><b>P</b>e malul unui lac din Scotia, un pescar da la undita. <br />Deodata, vede in mijlocul apei un pusti dand din maini disperat si urland dupa ajutor. <br />Pescarul sare indata si salveaza micutul de la inec. <br />Apare si tatal copilului. <br />- Dumneata mi-ai salvat fiul? <br />- Eu! <br />Dar oricine ar fi facut la fel. <br />- Foarte bine, zice tatal copilului, dar unde-i sapca lu asta mic? <br /><br /><b>I</b>n tren controlorul vine sa verifice biletele. Ajunge la un scotian. <br />-Biletul dvs. va rog! <br />-Nu am bilet. <br />-Nu se poate.Trebuie sa-mi aratati biletul <br />-Nu am bilet, v-am mai spus <br />-Imi pare rau, atunci va trebui sa va dau amenda. <br />-Nu platesc amenda. <br />-Cum nu platiti amenda ? <br />-Pur si simplu nu o platesc <br />-Atunci o sa va arunc valiza pe geam <br />-Ce ma, vrei sa imi omori copilul? <br /></span><br /><a name='more'></a><span lang="FR"><b>S</b>e intalnesc 2 scotieni: <br />- Am obosit aseara,am jucat tenis cu Kerr. <br />- Dar el nu este un jucator bun. <br />- Da, dar am jucat amandoi cu aceeasi racheta. <br /><br /><b>I</b>: Ce face un scotian cand vede ca ii arde casa? <br />R: Da bip la pompieri.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"> <br />- <b>T</b>ata, tata, vine micul fecior de taran scotian la tatal sau, vacile vecinului au intrat in faneata noastra si ne manca iarba!... <br />-Taci din gura, ia o galeata si du-te de le mulge <br /><br /><b>U</b>n scotian incercand sa monteze o antena TV pe acoperisul casei sale aluneca si cade in spatele casei. <br />- In cadere vede pe geamul bucatariei cum nevasta-sa numara boabele de fasole ce le punea in ciorba. <br />- Opreste-te, striga el, jumatate ajunge, eu mananc astazi la spital!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"> <br /><b>D</b>oi scotieni in compartimentul uni tren: <br />- Stiti, sunt in voiaj de nunta, fac o calatorie in Italia, spune unul. <br />- Dar sotia dv. unde este?, intreaba celalalt. <br />- A, pe sotie am lasat-o acasa, ea a mai fost maritata si a mai vazut <br />Italia o data. <br /><br />- <b>I</b>ubitule, imi faci cadou de ziua mea o pereche de cercei de aur? <br />- Da iubita mea, dar la anul! <br />- Si anul acesta? <br />- Anul acesta te duc sa-ti gaureasca urechile!, raspunse tanarul scotian indragostit. <br />Cat costa taxiul pana la gara? intreaba un scotian taximetristul. <br />- Un pound, domnule. <br />- Si bagajele? <br />- Bineinteles, gratis! <br />- Bine, atunci duceti-mi bagajele la gara. Eu o iau pe jos. <br /><br /><b>U</b>n englez, un irlandez si un scotian joaca golf impreuna cu nevestele. Cind sotia englezului se suie pe o movila de unde trebuia sa loveasca mingea, vintul ii ridica fusta si o lasa in fundul gol. <br />- Doamne Dumnezeule, dar unde iti sint chilotii? - intreaba englezul. <br />- Nu am avut suficienti bani ca sa imi cumpar, raspunde nevasta. <br />Jenat, acesta scoate 60 lire si o roaga sa-si cumpere degraba o pereche de chiloti. <br />Vine rindul nevestei irlandezului sa loveasca mingea de pe o movila. Bate vintul, ii ridica fusta, hop, nici asta nu avea chiloti! Sotul sau o intreaba: <br />- De ce nu ai chiloti pe tine? <br />- Nu mi-am putut permite cu banii pe care mi-i dai de cheltuiala, ii raspunde scurt sotia. <br />Tipul scoate 35 de lire din portofel si o trimite sa-si cumpere o pereche de chiloti. <br />Scena se repeta identic cu sotia scotianului. Nici asta nu avea chiloti pe ea. La care scotianul scoate un pieptene din buzunar si zice: <br />- Pentru Dumnezeu, du-te si aranjeaza-te un pic! <br /><br /><b>O</b> pereche scotiana in varsta sta la gura sobei. La un moment dat femeia exclama: <br />- John, ai putea sa ma duci si tu o data la film! <br />- Dar draga mea, am mai fost! <br />- Da, dar intre timp s-a inventat sonorul! <br /><br /><b>C</b>ica un scotian se trezeste intr-o dimineata si-si gaseste nevasta moarta in pat langa el. Se sperie scotianul si da fuga pe scari la servitoare: <br />- Lucy! Sa fierbi un singur ou pentru micul dejun!? <br /><br /><b>S</b>cotianul la frizer : <br />-Cat costa un tuns ? <br />-Doi silingi. <br />-Si un ras ? <br />-Un siling si jumatate. <br />-Bine. Rade-ma-n cap !<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span lang="FR">U</span></b><span lang="FR">n scotian isi cheama fiul: <br />- Du-te la vecinul de sus si cere-i ciocanul! <br /><b>D</b>upa cinci minute se intoarce fiul fara ciocan si tatal il intreaba: <br />- Nu ti-a dat vecinul ciocanul? <br />- Nu. <br />- Zgircitul!!! Atunci dute si adu-l pe al nostru. <br /><br /><b>D</b>oi scotieni se intalnesc. <br />Unul intreaba : <br />- Cunosti ultimul banc despre noi, scotienii ? <br />- Nu. <br />- Cum suna bancul respectiv ? <br />- Daca imi dai doi penny, ti-l spun. <br />Celalalt scotian ramane surprins pentru cateva secunde, dupa care spune razand: <br />- Ha ha ha, chiar este un banc bun !!! <br /><br /><b>D</b>oi scotieni se intilnesc: <br />Primul:- Vai ce ceas frumos ai!! </span>Cred ca te-a costat mult. <br />Al doilea:- Nici vorba! <span lang="FR">Mi la vindut tatal meu pe patul de moarte cu 5 penny. <br /><br /><b>C</b>ica un scotian si nevasta-sa intra intr-un restaurant si comanda doua portii de mancare. <br />La un moment dat, chelnerul vazand ca doar scotianul manca iar sotia statea si se uita la el, se apropie si intreba: <br />- Doamna, dar dummneavoastra de ce nu mancati? Nu va place mancarea? <br />- Ba da imi place, raspunde doamna, dar astept sa termine sotul meu de mancat sa-mi imprumute proteza... <br /><br /></span><b>O</b> echipa scotiana de fotbal castiga campionatul. <br />Antrenorul fericit, spune: <br />- Baieti, cred ca meritati ceva racoritor. <br /><span lang="FR">Mitch, deschide larg fereastra!! <br /><br />- <b>C</b>um s-a inventat lita? <br />- Doi scotieni au gasit pe strada o moneda!! <br /><br /><b>U</b>n francez vrea sa testeze daca scotienii sunt chiar asa de zgarciti precum se spune. Asa ca se decide sa plece in Scotia. <br />Trece granita Scotiei si printr-un satuc i se face sete. Isi ia inima in dinti si bate la usa unei case. Ii iese in intampinare un mos. Francezul ii cere apa. Dupa jumatate de minut mosul vine cu un bol plin cu lapte. Francezul savureaza jumatate din castron dupa care spune: <br />-Dar voi nu sunteti zgarciti deloc! Ce se vorbeste nu este adevaerat! Am cerut apa si am primit un bol cu lapte. Multumesc! <br />-Ei, baiete. Cu placere! Nimeni nu mai vroia sa bea laptele ala ca acolo s-a inecat un sobolan. <br />Francezul scapa bolul din la auzul acestor vorbe. Mosneagul il dojeni: <br />- Dupa ce ca eu ti-am dat lapte tu imi si spargi oala de noapte a lu bunicu ?! <br /><br /><b>U</b>n scotian merge la un bar si comanda o bere la halba. <br />Dupa ce i se aduce berea observa o musca in ea si ii spune barmanului: <br />- Barman in berea asta e o musca. <br />Barmanul raspunde: <br />- Domnule zgarcit mai esti si tu, cat poate sa bea o musca? <br /><br /><b>U</b>n scotian care avea o sticla de wisky in buzunarul de la pantaloni se impiedica pe scari. Cand isi revine pune mina pe bunzunarul unde era sticla si simte ceva ud: <br />- Sper ca e singe! <br /><br /><b>U</b>n scotian vine acasa si ii spune la nevasta lui: <br />- Am economisit 15 penny astazi! <br />- Cum? <br />- Nu am luat tranvaiul, ci am fugit dupa el! <br />- Vai, Vai... Puteai sa economisesti 3 lire! <br />- Cum? <br />- Trebuia sa fugi dupa taxi! <br /><br /><b>U</b>n scotian se mira de gestul prietenului sau: <br />-Ce faci ma, de ce ai aruncat pieptanu`? <br />-Pai avea un dinte rupt! <br />-Bine ma si pt un dinte? <br />-Da ba, da` era ultimul!!!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"> <b>T</b>ermina fiul scotianului liceul si tatal, fericit il intreaba: <br />- Ce vrei sa-ti cumpar ca sa te recompensez? <br />Fiul: <br />- As vrea sa am si eu o motocicleta... <br />Lasa fiule ca-i prea scumpa...Uite, iti cumpar un pepene. <br />Dupa ce termina fiul si facultatea, tatal il intreaba: <br />- Cum sa te recompensez pentru bucuria pe care mi-ai facut-o? <br />Fiul, patit, raspunde: <br />- Lasa tata , nu te deranja, mai bine hai sa bem o bere. <br />- Dupa pepene?!!! <br /><br /><b>I</b>: De ce nu isi cumpara scotienii frigidere ? <br />R: Nu sunt siguri ca atunci cand inchid usa se stinge becul! <br /><br /><b>U</b>n scotian aduce acasa un cos cu capsuni. <br />Ia una din ele si o da fiului sau zicandu-i: <br />- Ia fiule! restul au acelasi gust.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="FR"></span> <br /><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><b><span lang="FR" style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">D</span></b><span lang="FR" style="font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; font-size: 12pt;">oi scotieni intr-un cort. <br />- John, dormi? <br />- Nu, ce vrei! <br />- Da-mi 50 penny. <br />- Dorm,dorm....zzz</span> <br /><span lang="FR"> </span> <br /><span lang="FR"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="FR"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2517725126055999241?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-12313906846483177302010-05-15T12:59:00.000-07:002010-05-22T11:26:10.115-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><o:p></o:p> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Este adevarat ca rosiile sunt afrodisiace?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da, daca le folositi cu tot cu arac.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Este posibil ca in Romania...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Raspuns: da !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></div><a name='more'></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Care este diferenta dintre un optimist si unn pesimist?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Diferenta este ca optimistul invata limba engleza iar pesimistul chineza. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">R</span>adio Erevan stiri:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Un avion cu 275 de pasgeri s-a prabusit astazi in Kazastan intr-un cimitir din orasul X. Trupele de interventie au gasit la locul accidentului 5700 de morti.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan, un ascultator intreaba: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- La ce varsta barbatul este considerat major si poate sa faca ce vrea ? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Radio Erevan raspunde: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu stim ce sa va raspundem. Nimeni nu a apucat aceasta varsta ! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce sa fac ca sa par mai subtire ? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Intuneric, doamna.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Am citit in ziarul Pravda, ca un anumit Ivan Gustinov a fost condamnat la 5 ani inchisoare pentru ca a numit "idiot" un general sovietic. Nu este pedeapsa un pic cam aspra?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu. Pentru insulta a primit numai 6 luni, restul pedepsei datorita faptului ca a tradat un secret militar...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Poate un cetatean sovietic sa isi spuna liber parerea?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, atata timp cat ramane in strainatate.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu ar fi mai simplu ca toti dusmanii poporului si toti tradatorii de tara sa fie inchisi?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar cine sa mai lucreze atunci in fabrici si pe ogoare?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Exista o definitie marxist-leninista a automobilului?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da. Automobilul este un mijloc de transport cu 4 roti in care se deplaseaza clasa muncitoare, in persoana liberilor sai alesi.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Eu si colegul meu de munca ne-am certat azi in pauza pe motivul, care este cel mai bun dintre conducatorii nostrii. Eu am spus ca Brejnev. Am dreptate?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">......</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Radio Erevan se scuza pentru neasteptata cadere de curent.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Am ocazia sa fac o excursie in vest, la o intrunire. Pretului transportului trebuie sa-l achit eu si este destul de ridicat. Sa fac aceasta excursie sau nu?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu, da. Nu trebuie sa cumparati biletul dus-intors.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu ar trebui desfintat spionajul?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar ce vom face cu multimea de someri?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ar fi posibil ca si conducerea Republicii Populare Ungaria sa faca posibila populatiei vizitele in vest?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar atunci Ungaria nu ar mai fi republica populara.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Este posibil ca si China sa ia parte la zborurile cosmice?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, atunci cand 500.000 de chinezi ar sari pe o parte a trambulinei.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Se rasplatesc glumele cu Radio Ervan?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, cu 30 de ani pana la "pe viata"...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- La noi in scoala am dori sa punem in scena piesa lui Schiller "Wilhelm Tell" - este permis acest lucru?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Radio Erevan raspunde:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar de unde vreti sa procurati marul ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- M-am maritat cu un vaduv, iar el nu conteneste sa-mi vorbeasca de fosta lui sotie. Ce sa fac? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Vorbiti-i despre viitorul dvs. sot. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Care sunt pasarile cele mai inaintate in varsta? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Cele impaiate. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Spuneti-mi, cum sa procedez pentru a emigra in SUA ??</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Lasati numele si adresa exacta si va veni cineva sa va ia !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Se poate ca cineva sa fie un bun comunist si totodata si un bun crestin?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar de ce sa va faceti viata de doua ori mai grea!?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Se poate face dragoste cu fereastra deschisa?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">R: Da, dar incercati mai bine cu o femeie !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I:</span>- Cu cine se invecineaza URSS?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">R:- Cu cine vrea ea!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Este adevarat ca cetateanului Ivan i s-a dat o masina?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Raspuns: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da, este adevarat, dar nu este vorba de cetateanul Ivan ci de cetateanca Ludmila, nu este masina ci este bicicleta, si nu i s-a dat ci i s-a confiscat.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-De ce origine este stepul?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Raspuns:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Stepul este de origine sovietica. Stepan Stepanovici Stiopa statea in stepa; avea 13 copii si o singura buda...!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>oncurs la Radio Erevan: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Un om sta la masa intr-un restaurant si mananca tot felul de mancaruri: supe, fripturi, desert, bea vin, toate intr-un ritm alert, timp de mai multe ore. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa aceea iese pe usa din restaurant si moare. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- De ce?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Raspuns: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Era vagon-restaurant.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- E adevarat ca la vizita primului ministru la Roma se va semna un acord intre el si papa?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar se mai duc tratative despre cum va suna prima propozitie a acordului.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Papa sustine neaparat ca ea sa fie: "Dumnezeu a creat omul." pe cand primul ministru doreste sa mai adauge: "...sub directa indrumare a partidului..."</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In lagarul nostru de munca nu exista nici un barbat, o tovarasa a nascut de curand. Cum s-a putut intampla asa ceva?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Tovarasa cu pricina a avut probabil relatii...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce pot face pentru a nu murdari patul in noaptea nuntii?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Sa nu beti !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Trebuie o tanara, care traieste dupa principiile moralei socialiste, sa fie la ora 8 in pat?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu, da. Pentru ca oricum la ora 10 trebuie sa fiti acasa. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Daca vorbesti la telefon poti ramane gravida?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Poti, dar depinde pe ce stai atunci cand vorbesti la telefon !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A</span>scultator: Se poate conduce o Volga in curba cu 120 km/h ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Radio Erevan: Se poate. Insa o singura data.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare:- Este adevarat ca in urma dezastrului de la Cernobal toata conducerea centralei atomoelectrice s-a sinucis?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Radio Erevan:- Da, in afara secretarului de Partid, care nu a fost gasit acasa !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan, un ascultator ne intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- De ce femeile mimeaza orgasmul?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Iar noi raspundem: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pentru ca ele cred ca noua ne pasa.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">O</span> ascultatoare intreba la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce pot face ca sa nu ramin insarcinata.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Radio Erevan raspunde:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Beti un pahar cu lapte.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ascultatoarea revine si intreaba cand anume, inainte sau dupa...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Radio Erevan raspunde:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In loc de...!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Devin sotiile noastre, cu ajutorul mastilor cosmetice, mai frumoase.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar numai pentru scurt timp, pentru ca mastile cosmetice dupa uscare trebuie date jos.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Tovarase redactor este adevarat ca si americanii au pitici?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In pricipiu da, dar cei rusesti sunt mai mari.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Este adevarat ca in Uniunea Sovietica se va putea divorta mai usor ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da, cand partenerul moare, celalalt este liber...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Este adevarat ca acum 30 de ani chinezii au bombardat Uniunea Sovietica?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da, in principiu este adevarat.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Se pot estima pagubele produse atunci ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu, pentru ca ei au aruncat o bomba de cauciuc, care mai sare si astazi.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce este haosul?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa o scurta pauza:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu dam raspunsuri la intrebari din agricultura. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Se pot manca iarasi mere de la Cernobil?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar samburii trebuie dupa aceea ingropati in containere de plumb.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Zebrele sunt negre cu dungi albe, sau albe cu dungi negre?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Fiica mea este frumoasa, dar proasta. Totusi a fost propusa de maistru pentru titlul de "Muncitoare de frunte".</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Trebuie sa fac ceva impotriva?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu, lasati asta pe seama sotiei maistrului...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntrebare la Radio Erevan:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Sunt sora medicala si am sapte copii. Acum urmeaza sa fiu transferata la Radiologie. E adevarat ca radiatiile Röntgen provoaca sterilitatea?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu da, dar nu va bazati pe asta...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a Radio Erevan se intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Este in uniunea Sovietica cenzurata presa?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- In principiu nu. Ne este insa, din pacate, imposibil sa aprofundam acest raspuns...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1231390684648317730?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-11278397761076611322010-05-15T12:37:00.001-07:002010-05-22T11:27:16.033-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n oltean, in cautarea unei slujbe, se afla fata in fata cu un posibil angajator. <br />Angajatorul il intreaba: <br />- Si cam la ce salariu va ganditi? <br />- Pai, cred ca in jur de 150000 pe an ar fi bine, dar mai puteam negocia. <br />- Stati sa va prezentam oferta noastra: <br />- Salariul, 200.000 plus masina, telefon mobil, casa, 5 luni vacanta, etc. <br />- Cred ca glumiti, nu? <br />- Doar tu ai inceput primul. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce au oltenii capul mic ? <br />R: Pentru ca ei gindesc concentrat. </div><a name='more'></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n oltean se intilneste cu un ardelean care ducea de sfoara o capra. <br />- Unde duci boul ala? intreaba olteanul. <br />Contrariat, ardeleanul se uita spre animal temandu-se de o sotie, dupa care riposteaza: <br />- Esti chior, nu vezi ca-i capra? <br />- Pai, eu cu capra vorbeam mah.<br /><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I:</span> De ce se rupe banca atunci cind se aseaza un oltean ? <br />R: Cel mai inteligent cedeaza. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce se feresc oltenii sa doarma pe paie sau in fan ? <br />R: Ca sa nu ia foc atunci cind le-o scapara mintea.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A</span>flat la o ruda in Bucuresti, un oltean iese dimineata pe balcon sa-si scuture rogojina. <br />Din neatentie, se apleaca prea mult si cade. <br />Speriati, trecatorii se aduna in jurul lui. <br />- Ce s-a intimplat ? intreaba unul. <br />- Nu stiu, neica. Abia picai si eu, raspunde olteanul. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce au oltenii camasa in carouri ? <br />R: Ca sa joace puricii sah pe ea. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce au oltenii soba in mijlocul casei ? <br />R: Ca sa zica ca au incalzire centrala. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce fac oltenii mamaliga in tigaie ? <br />R: Ca sa incapa in diplomat. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>aca puricii ar straluci ca licuricii, atunci Craiova s-ar vedea din avion ca Las Vegas-ul. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Cum prinde un oltean un iepure ? <br />R: Se baga sub un tufis si face ca morcovul. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce pun oltenii televizorul pe pat cand e meci? <br />R: Ca sa cada portarul pe moale. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce tin oltenii oile in beci ? <br />R: Ca sa aiba masline la rece. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce nu se spala oltenii pe dinti ? <br />R: Pentru ca nu le incape sapunul in gura ! <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce arabii au camile, iar romanii olteni ? <br />R: Arabii au ales primii. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>e a spus olteanul cand a vazut un caine alb? <br />Uite un caine nou-nout! <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce umbla oltenii in carute cu coviltir? <br />R: Ca sa nu fie asasinati ca J.F. KENNEDY. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce arunca olteanii ceasul pe geam? <br />R: Sa vada cum fuge timpul <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce zboara avionul la 3000 m altitudine deasupra Olteniei. <br />R: Pilotului ii e frica sa nu i se fure rotile avionului ! <br /><br />- <span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>e cati olteni este nevoie pentru a face floricele de porumb? <br />- De 3. <br />- Unul tine tigaia, iar ceilalti doi scutura aragazul cu miscari macho. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>ergeau doi olteni pe camp si la un moment dat dau de o groapa. <br />Unul dintre ei zice: <br />- Hai ba sa vedem cat de adanca e! <br />- Se duce asta ia un bolovan, il arunca in groapa....nimic. <br />Ba da-o dracu'! <br />Cara amandoi un ditamai bolovanu' il arunca....nimic! <br />- Hai las-o! <br />Se uita ei in jur si vad langa o tufa o sina de cale ferata. Asta trebuie sa se auda! <br />O cara ei, o arunca... fasaie tufele apare o capra, sare, se da de trei ori peste cap si intra in groapa! <br />Astia doi speriati o taie spre casa. <br />Pe drum un cioban disperat: <br />- "Ba nu mi-ati vazut capra? <br />Astia: <br />- Ba da. <br />- A sarit in groapa aia! <br />Ciobanul: <br />- N-avea cum ba ca era legata de o sina!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Cum isi invata un oltean copilul sa mearga cu metroul ? <br />R: Il plimba cu roaba in pivnita !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Ce face olteanul cand nu are ce face ? <br />R: Se dezbraca si isi pazeste hainele. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Cum vopseste olteanul gardul? <br />R: Repede, repede, sa nu se termine vopseaua. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>oi unguri vin in Craiova. <br />Huiduiti de vecini se gandesc sa mearga la primar sa clarifice situatia. Primarul ii sfatuieste sa treaca Jiul in inot, sa fie si ei olteni. <br />Primul ungur era mai voinic, trece Jiul, cel de-al doilea il roaga sa-l ajute si pe el sa treaca...Atunci primul ii zice: <br />- Mama ce oltean ma simt, da-te-n mata de bozgor..!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">S</span>e duc oltenii la primarul din Craiova, sa capete permisiunea sa doarma si ei in cersafuri, ca toata lumea, ca pana atunci dormeau pe rogojini. <br />- Bine, zice primarul, va dau voie sa puneti asternut, dar in prealabil sa va spalati pe picioare. <br />Un oltean nedumerit intreaba: <br />- Dom' primar, dar daca n-avem prealabil, putem sa ne spalam in lighean? <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce au oltenii casa rotunda ? <br />R: Sa nu-i vorbeasca lumea pe la colturi. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce sunt oltenii zgariati pe fata de craciun ? <br />R: Pentru ca atunci mananca si ei cu furculita. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Ce-au facut oltenii cand au aparut franzelele? <br />R: Le-au mancat cu paine. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Cum fac olteni lapte praf? <br />R: Arunca o vaca din avion. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n oltean si un ardelean in tren. <br />Stranuta olteanu, ardeleanu: "sanatate, numai bine". <br />Stanuta din nou olteanu, ardeleanu: "tot ce-ti doresti, sanatate, noroc". <br />Stranuta si ardeleanu, olteanu: "racisi fir-ai al dracu" <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce maninca oltenii fasole ? <br />R: Ca sa-si dea aere. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Cum se deosebeste mirele la o nunta de olteni ? <br />R: Are tenisi noi. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: De ce nu se ineaca oltenii? <br />R: Pentru ca au capetele goale si plutesc. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I:</span>- Cum a murit un oltean band lapte ? <br />R:- A cazut vaca pe el! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1127839776107661132?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-28301215117740496082010-05-15T10:58:00.001-07:002010-05-23T00:30:54.624-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal"><b>C</b>um zic moldovenii la apa plata ?</div><div class="MsoNormal">Apa fara fas.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>mi este cu neputinta sa va casatoresc, explica ofiterul starii civile, moldoveanului. Mireasa nu are decat 17 ani si ai nevoie de consimtamantul tatalui !<br />Pai cine credeti ca e individul care sta langa usa cu pusca in mana !?raspunde "ginerica".</div><div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><a name='more'></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: De ce rad moldovenii cand fulgera? <br />R: Ei cred ca le face cineva poza.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>O</b> moldoveanca in gara: <br />- Un bilet la Visau! <br />- 20 de lei. <br />- Aoleu, mai ghini fac in sacosa...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Ce primesti la un restaurant moldovenesc daca ceri creier pane? <br />R: Mimorie di porc prajita !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>e unde are Stefan cel Mare cizmele?? <br />De la genunchi in jos.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n roman la Chisinau se apropie de un localnic<br />- Nu va suparati caut magazinul "Lumea copiilor"!!.<br />Moldovanul:<br />- Nu ma supar, cautati mai departe.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum se numeste pe moldoveneste piureul de cartofi?<br />R: Barabuli batusiti.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Ce e ala un piron ?<br />R: Moldoveanul: Locul de unde te urci in tren.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I:</b> Cum se cheama pe moldoveneste filmul "Lovitura fulgeratoare"?<br />R: Palitura cransina.<br /><br /><b>I</b>: Dar filmul "Razboiul stelelor"?<br />R: Galsiava'n sier.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum il numesc moldovenii pe Mihai Viteazul?<br />R: Mihaiti Bataiosul.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>ntr-un compartiment de tren calatoresc 4 indivizi: un american, un ardelean, un moldovean si-un bucurestean. <br />La un moment dat, americanu' scoate un pachet neanceput de Marlboro din buzunar, isi aprinde o tigara si arunca restul pachetului pe geam. Toti ceilalti sar sa-l prinda; cum nu reusesc, incep sa-l certe pe american: <br />- Pai, bine dom'le arunci bunatate de tigari!... <br />- Eh, zice americanul, la noi tigari dintr-astea sunt pe toate drumurile. <br />Dupa un timp, ardeleanul scoate din traista o butelca de palinca, trage o dusca sanatoasa si arunca pe geam ce mai ramane in ea. La fel, sar toti ceilalti cu gura pe el: <br />- Arunci bunatate de bautura pe geam!... <br />- Eh, vine raspunsul, la noi gasesti dintr-asta pe toate drumurile. <br />Mai trece un timp si bucuresteanu' il apuca pe moldovean de guler si, desi cel din urma se zbate, il arunca pe fereastra. <br />- NENOROCITULE! striga ceilalti. AI OMORAT OMU'!!! <br />- Eh, zice bucuresteanul asezandu-se la loc, la noi dintr-astia sunt pe toate drumurile.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: De ce li se spune moldovencelor nuci?<br />R: Pentru ca se coc in Moldova si se sparg la Bucuresti...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum se numeste pe moldoveneste lovitura de colt, la fotbal?<br />R: "Palitura de ungher"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n Oltean, un Ardelean si un Moldovean discutau cit de proaste sint nevestele lor.<br />Zice olteanu':<br />- Nevasta-mea e atit de proasta, a cumparat 50 kg de carne ca erau la reducere si nici macar nu avem frigider!<br />Zice Ardeleanu:<br />-Eh..a ta e Einstein pe linga a mea.<br />A mea a cumparat o Dacia si nici macar nu avem carnet de conducere.<br />Zice Moldoveanu':<br />- Bai cumetrilor nevestele voastre sint genii pe linga a mea.<br />Vin acasa si o vad facind valiza. Langa haine 100 de cutii de prezervative.<br />- Si eu nici macar nu plec cu ea in Turcia!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>E</b>ra un moldovean si cu un maghiar.<br />Moldoveanul venea de la o plimbare si se intalneste cu ardeleanul.<br />Ardeleanul il intreaba:<br />- Unde ai fost moldovene?<br />Pai am fost la furat.<br />- Si ce ai furat?<br />Pai am furat avioane si cum le-ai furat deoarece avioanele sunt foarte mari.<br />Moldoveanul zice:<br />- Ba ca prosti mai sunteti voi ardeleni nu ganditi un pic, eu nu fur avionul cand i pe pista pentru ca e foarte mare.<br />- <i>Eu il fur cand este sus deoarece este foarte mic si il iau si il bag in buzunar</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n moldovean se duce la pescuit de copca.<br />Ajunge el pe un lac inghetat, si incearca sa sparga gheata.<br />Deodata, se aude o voce:<br />- Bai nu mai sparge gheata!<br />Se scoala el se uita imprejur, nimic.<br />Vocea se mai aude odata:<br />- Bai nu ma sparge gheata!.<br />Se mai ridica odata, se mai uita imprejur tot nimic.<br />Isi continua spartul ghetii.<br />A treia oara se mai aude vocea:<br />- Bai nu mai sparge gheata!<br />- Ce-am vorbit eu cu tine? <br />Romanul se ridica si intreaba:<br />- Care vorbeste mai?<br />Dar vocea iar:<br />- Directorul Patinoarului!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>V</b>ine un strain la o biblioteca di Chisinau si zice :<br />Am nevoie de cartea "Oameni destepti ai Moldovei"<br />La care bibliotecara zice :<br />- Ma scuzati, dar SF-urile sunt la al doilea etaj.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum se numeste pe moldoveneste lovitura de pedeapsa?<br />R: "Palitura de osanda" </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum iti dai seama ca moldoveanul e ginerica ? <br />R: Are treningul nou !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n moldovean invita o olteanca la restaurant.<br />Si o intreaba : <br />-De care sheri bei?<br />-Sheri de matale.<br />Dupa ce termina de mancat ii spune:<br />-Ce divina esti.<br />De vina esti matale</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum ii spune moldoveanul nevestei sale sa se dezbrace?<br />R: Dezizoleaza-te!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum isi fac molodovenii vant?<br />R: Tin evantaiul si dau din cap!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n moldovean vine cu capra la vecinul sau.<br />- Baga vecine si capra mea in tarc la tine!<br />- Io o bag vecine, da' a mai fost o capra.<br />- Nu-i nimic, da-i o telina tapului si sa vezi ce merge treaba!<br />Trece un timp si capra fata. <br />Se intalnesc cei doi vecini iar:<br />- Ce faci vecine, ai vazut ca a fatat capra?<br />Nici un raspuns.<br />- Ce-i vecine, de ce nu-mi raspunzi, te-ai suparat pe mine?<br />- Cum sa nu ma supar, ca acum nevasta m-a pus sa mananc numai telina.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum se numeste pe moldoveneste garda de corp?<br />R: "Strajer"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum se numeste pe moldoveneste filmul "Salvati de clopotel"?<br />R: "Izbaviti de talanguta" </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2830121511774049608?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-46875541938554404712010-05-15T10:51:00.001-07:002010-05-22T11:28:01.666-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on, pe patul de moarte:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Marie, eu acum ma duc, mult nu mai am, da' vreu sa stiu si eu: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- M-ai inselat tu vreodata ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La care, Maria: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Apai ma Ioane draga, io ti-as zice, <span style="font-style: italic;">dar daca nu mori</span> ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>aica-sa lu Maria: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Marie! Mai lasa-l odata pe Ion si hai in casa!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Maria:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Bine mama! <span style="font-style: italic;">Il mai las o data si vin</span>!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></div><a name='more'></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on si Maria in noaptea nuntii: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Marie culcata in pat, Ion langa fereastra, uitandu-se pe geam. Dupa vreo jumatate de ceas, zice Maria:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- No, Ioane, mi-i frigut! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pune, fa, un tol pe tine! zice Ion fara sa intoarca capul.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Pune Maria un tol pe ea, da' peste jumatate de ora incepe din nou:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ma Ioane, da mie tot frigut mi-e!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Mai pune fa un tol pe tine! zice Ion.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Se conformeaza Maria, dar Ion tot la fereastra. Peste alta jumatate de ora, Maria:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ma Ioane, tu n-auzii ca mie mi-e frigut?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- N-auzi fa femeia sa mai pui un tol pe tine?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Pierzandu-si rabdarea, Maria exclama:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da ce faci tu, Ioane, la fereastra acolo?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La care Ion raspunde intorcandu-se radios:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- No, fa muiere, mi-o zis mie Vasile ca noaptea nunti-i a mai faina, si nu vreu sa scap o clipita din ochi!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on o intreaba pe Maria:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Marie, tie ti-ar placea sa fii barbat?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Maria raspunde:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da, Ioane, dar tie?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">E</span>rau Ion si cu Maria in pat intr-o seara.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La un moment dat Maria care nu avea somn il intreaba pe Ion:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ioane, dormi?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ma iubesti?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <span style="font-style: italic;">Dorm</span> !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on si Maria faceau dragoste. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La un moment dat Maria zice:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bai Ioane iti miros picioarele! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La care Ion raspunde:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Daca vrei !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on vine suparat acasa si o gaseste pe Maria in curte.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I:- Fa! Vino in casa ca te omor!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">M:- Da Ioane vin!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I:- Fa intra in dormitor! Imediat.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">M:- Ioane ai cumva chef de.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I:- Taci si baga-te in pat!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">M:- Gata Ioane imediat!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I:- Trage plapuma peste noi ca te omor!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Maria trage plapuma si:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I:- Vezi fa ce ceas fosforescent am?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on, pe patul de moarte:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Amu m-oi duce Marie, ca mi-a sosit ceasul. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Asculta aici ce-ti spun.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Maria, suspinand:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Zi Ioane, si asa oi face!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Sa tii gospodaria Marie, sa nu vinzi nimic, sa aiba copii astia cand or creste mari.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Maria, suspinand:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Asa oi face, Ioane...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Sa dai copii la scoala, sa iasa invatati, Marie!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Maria, suspinand:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Asa oi face Ioane...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Si mai vreau, Marie, ca dupa ce m-oi duce sa te mariti cu Gheorghe!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da' Ioane, credeam ca Gheorghe e dusmanul tau de moarte.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai tocmai de-aia...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on si Maria se intorc de la coasa, fiecare cu cate o coasa pe umar. Merg pe marginea drumului. Trece un motociclist. Maria:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ia uite Ioane, ala n-avea cap</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Cum sa n-aiba? Pleaca de-aici ca esti proasta.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Mai trece un timp.Inca un motociclist. Maria:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Zau, Ioane, nici asta n-avea cap</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Cum sa n-aiba cap? Mai taci dracului din gura.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Peste un timp, alt motociclist. Maria:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Hai ma Ioane, daca-ti zic ca nici asta n-avea cap.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Taci mai din gura si intoarce coasa pe partea cealalta.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on se intoarce de la cimp si o gaseste pe Maria in pat cu Gheorghe (prietenul lui cel mai bun). Da cu coasa de pamint si zice:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- No ba Marie. Cu cel mai bun prieten al meu?!? Cite am facut eu pentru tine...Te-am luat, te-am educat si imbracat, nu te pun sa faci de mincare... Si tu ba Gheorghe... Am fost prieteni de mici baa. Cite batai am luat de la tactu incercind sa te scap pe tine baa... Si macar opriti-va cind vorbesc cu voi !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on si Maria faceau dragoste. La un momendat Maria ii zice lui Ion: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Mai Ioane ma tu esti greu ma. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ion nimic. Peste 10 minute Maria ii zice iar: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Mai Ioane ma tu esti foarte greu ma! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ion nimic. Peste inca zece minute Maria ii zice enervata din nou: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Mai Ioane ma tu esti din cale afara de greu ma ! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ion suparat: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai fa Marie noi ori facem dragoste ori ne cantarim?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>aria si cu Geta mergeau prin padure.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La un momendat Maria spune:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Geta, vezi gramada aceea de frunze?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Acolo m-am tavalit eu cu Ion.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Mai merg ele si Ioana spune si ea:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Uite acolo m-am tavalit eu cu Ion.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Mai merg ele ce mai merg si dau de un lan de grau.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Atunci Maria spune:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Vezi locul ala liber de grau, Geta ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu-mi spune ca te-ai tavalit acolo cu Ion.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Acolo s-a tavalit Ion cand a aflat ca am SIDA.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on si Marie mergeau pe un drum de tara din inima Ardealului...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Fa, Marie, tu esti fata mare ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Cum ti-o fi norocul, Ioane... </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>oane, ai facut inchisoare?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- N-am facut nici o inchisoare, Marie. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Cand am ajuns eu acolo era gata facuta.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on vine acasa si striga:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Marie, imbraca-te, am castigat opt sute de milioane.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ioane, mai, ce sa-mbrac ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ia-ti tot si pleaca!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on invidios pe oile mai grase ale lui Gheorghe il intreaba pe acesta:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ma cum se face de oile tale sunt asa frumose si dau atata lapte?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai ma Ioane tu ai berbec la ele?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu, nu am dar ce-mi trebuie?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai uite ce faci, te duci la targ si iti cumperi unu sau daca nu poti sa tii tu locul berbecului.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Se duce Ion acasa isi suie oile in camion si le duce pe o poienita unde face ce l-a invatat Gheorghe.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ajunge seara acasa obosit tare.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Maria dupa ce il asteptase toata ziua, bucuroasa ca a venit ii cere sa faca dragoste.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Asta suparat si obosit o refuza.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Se trezeste Ion dimineata si o intreaba pe Maria:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce fac femeie oile alea, mananca or ba?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Sunt la fel ca ieri Ioane.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Suparat Ion suie oile in camion si o ia de la capat.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">A doua zi la fel, la fel si a treia.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">A patra zi se trezeste Ion si intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce fac femeie oile alea, mananca or ba?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ma Ioane asa ceva nu am mai vazut!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">S-au suit toate in camion si una sta la volan si claxoneaza!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on cu Maria merg la vinatoare pe doua drumuri diferite. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Intelegerea e ca cel care va auzi impuscatura sa vina sa vada ce a impuscat celalalt.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La un moment dat Maria aude o impuscatura, fuge repede, si cand ajunge la Ion acesta o intreaba mirat:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Marie tu ai mai vazut pasare cu parasuta ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ese Maria grabita din casa si-l striga pe Ioan care era in curte:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ioane vino-n casa ca ploua.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Lasa ca ploua si afara.</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4687554193855440471?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-25828866352337420392010-05-15T10:44:00.000-07:002010-05-22T11:28:31.505-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="City" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">O</span> femeie la doctor:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule doctor, de fiecare data cand fumez o tigara ma gandesc la sex!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Doctorul:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Linistiti-va doamna si haideti sa fumam o tigara...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n fotbalist e faultat atat de rau de un adversar incat trebuie sa fie dus la spital. Ajuns acolo i se baga in ghips o mana si picioarele. Peste o zi vine doctorul la patul lui iar el il intreaba pe doctor: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Doctore mai scap, mai pot avea picioare vreodata? la care doctorul rasunde:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Am o veste buna si una rea cu care vrei sa incep? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Fotbalistul:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai cu aia rea.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Doctorul: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ok, de astazi nu o sa mai ai picioare.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Fotbalistul:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Dar cea buna care este?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Doctorul:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai...ti-am gasit clienti la pantofi!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></div><a name='more'></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n ginecolog vrea sa se reprofileze auzind ca ar cistiga mai bine ca mecanic auto.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Invata individul si se duce la un service auto sa dea test de angajare. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La rezultate stupoare: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Tipul luase nota 15.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Se duce si-l intreaba pe mecanicu' sef:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bine domne cum se poate asa ceva: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Asta a luat 5, asta 7,..eu 15?!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da domne hai sa vedem:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ti-am dat sa desfaci carburatorul, l-ai deschis corect: 5 puncte. Te-am pus sa-l inchizi l-ai inchis corect:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">5 puncte. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Si ti-am mai dat 5 puncte de la mine ca ai facut totul prin teava de esapament !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>on se duce la doctor si ii spune suparat:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule doctor cred ca eu vorbesc in somn.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da ce va face sa credeti asta?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai, in fiecare dimineata ma scol ragusit !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a o clinica de tratament pentru batrani, inainte de a se interna batranii trebuiau sa mearga la un medic, care le dadea sfaturi in functie de boala si buzunar.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Intra primul batran si la capitolu alimentatie doctorul il intreaba:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce pensie ai?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- 25 de milioane</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- De la masa sa nu-ti lipseasca friptura, sticla cu vin si fructe tropicale.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Al doilea:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Avea pensia 10 milioane.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- De la masa sa nu-ti lipseasca legumele.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Al treilea cu pensia de 3 milioane.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Tataie, aer, cat mai mult aer.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">E</span>ra odata un doctor care la orice consultatie iti spune ca ai hemoroizi .</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Intr-o zi merge la el un tip ce isi rupse mina cu o zi inainte .</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Din cauza hemoroizilor, spuse ca de obicei doctorul.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Cum asa ? Caci eram la cules de mere si sa rupt craca cu mine.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Pai, daca te-a mincat in fund sa te urci in copac ..</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>omnule doctor, ati uitat ca de trei minute stau cu limba scoasa? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- N-am uitat, dar vreau sa scriu reteta in liniste.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a un medic stomatolog vine o baba surda sa-si faca dintii. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa ce o consulta, doctorul ii zice:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Imi pare rau mamaie dar trebuie sa-ti pun o placa !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Baba raspunde:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu-i nimic maica ! Dar sa fie cu Irina Loghin daca ai !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>naintea anesteziei, pacientul il intreaba pe chirurg:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule doctor, ce sanse am?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Execut operatia pentru a suta oara.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Oh, atunci sunt linistit.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Normal</st1:place></st1:city>. Odata si odata trebuie sa-mi reuseasca.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a psihiatru se prezinta un barman.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule doctor, ieri a intrat un client in bar, a cerut un coniac, l-a baut, dupa care a mancat tacticos paharul, cu exceptia piciorului. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Credeti ca este nebun?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Mai mult ca sigur! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Piciorul este partea cea mai gustoasa.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n medic isi conduce studentii printr-un ospiciu, la practica. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Le arata, intr-o rezerva un barbat cu privirile ratacite.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Vedeti, acest barbat si-a pierdut mintile fiindca femeia cu care a vrut sa se casatoreasca l-a refuzat.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Vom trece la rezerva alaturata, unde este internat cel care a luat-o.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntr-un salon de reanimare, toti conectati la aparate de mentinere a vietii. Electricianul baga capul pe <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">usa</st1:place></st1:country-region>: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Baieti, luati o gura mare de aer ca schimb o siguranta ! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Doctore, uita-te la mine sa vezi ce am, ca ma simt cam rau. Se uita doctorul: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Mai, uitandu-ma in ochiul tau, vad ca suferi de reumatism, viroza hepatica, astm bronsic si... </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Doctore, uita-te si in celalalt ochi, ca asta-i de sticla</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>octorul: Domnule, trebuie sa va iau analize de urina, de scaun si de sperma.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Pacientul: Mai bine va las chilotii aici !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-<span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>octore, am fost la dvs acum 3 ani si mi-ati spus sa ma feresc de umezeala...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Da, da, imi amintesc...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Am venit sa va intreb daca pot sa fac o baie....</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n bolnav vine la medic: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- D-le doctor, nu stiu ce sa fac ! Eu am o boala tare ciudata! Oriunde ma ating, ma doare. Daca pun degetul pe gura, ma doare; daca pun degetul pe nas, ma doare; daca pun degetul pe genunchi, ma doare; daca ma ating pe frunte, ma doare !!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Doctorul ii ia mana, se uita la ea, si spune: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Incearca sa te atingi cu degetul care nu e rupt !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n om intra in un magazin de ochelari.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Vanzatorul il intreaba ce fel de ochelari vrea..</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">"Pentru soare"...il intreaba...?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Omul se uita la el si raspunde:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">"Nu....Pentru mine..."</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">P</span>opescu consulta un medic, si-i spune:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule doctor! Tot timpul imi sta dreapta! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La inceput, mi-a placut, dar acum a intrecut masura!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Medicul il studiaza si cu o penseta ii scoate o furnica, i-o arata si-i spune:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Asta va excita!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule doctor! Va sunt nespus de recunoscator. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Ce va datorez?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nimic, dar furnica ramane aici!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>octorul catre pacient:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Am doua vesti: una buna alta proasta...Cu care sa incep?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Cu cea proasta!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ti-am facut analizele...imi pare rau dar trebuie sa-ti amputam piciorul !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Si cea buna?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- A intrat fiul meu la facultate...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n batran se duce la bordel: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Vreau o tanara dar trebuie sa aiba SIDA </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai cum asta?!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Draga, am auzit ca dupa aia mai ai zece ani.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n mare iubitor de excursii se intoarce din <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region> nu prea bine. La inceput a zis omul ca-i din cauza schimbului de atmosfera: apa, femei, dar n-a mai putut rabda si s-a dus la Doctor, dar nu numai la unul. El a fost la control in toate judetele tarii dar nici unul n-a putut sa-i spuna ce boala a prins la aparatul genital. In sfirsit unul mai cu initiativa l-a sfatuit sa se intoarca in <st1:place st="on">tara</st1:place> de unde a luat boala. A plecat omul nostru s-a dus la cel mai bun doctor in <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">China</st1:place></st1:country-region> pentru boli venerice si nici dupa 3 minute doctorul ii spune cu calm chinez:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- A! asta-i “tafa muda”.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- O doctore multumesc din suflet si ce trebuie sa fac sa ma vindec? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Hei dar nu trebuie sa faci nimic se usuca si cade.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n bolnav se duce la doctor pentru ca tusea des:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Dom' doctor tusesc rau.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Doctorul ii zice:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Fumeaza numai 10 tigari si vino la control peste o saptamana.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Peste o saptamana vine pacientul tusind si mai rau:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ai fumat mai numai 10 tigari?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da, raspunde pacientul.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Si inainte cate tigari fumai? il intreaba doctorul.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pana acum nu am mai fumat nici o tigara.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>erge pacientul la doctor:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule doctor nu stiu ce sa fac pentru ca de fiecare data cand beau cafea ma doare ochiul stang.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Atunci scoateti-va lingurita din ceasca!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-2582886635233742039?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-7909296384067493592010-05-15T10:33:00.000-07:002010-05-22T11:28:56.732-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea lacomiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa mananci bataie si sa nu te saturi!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea neglijentei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa faci baie intr-o cada cu benzina si sa-ti aprinzi o tigara!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea dresajului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa faci sa latre un catel de usturoi.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><a name='more'></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>are este culmea ciclismului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa faci turul pantalonilor!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea Internetului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa intri pe Internet cu un calculator de buzunar !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea in vorbire:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa ai lapsus la cuvantul lapsus</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea politetii:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa stai pe scaunul electric si sa cedezi locul unei doamne.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea pedichiurii:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa faci unghiile unui picior de pat.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea vitezei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa stingi lumina si sa ajungi inaintea ei in pat!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea saraciei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa fololsesti hartie igienica la mana a doua</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea inteligentei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa intelegi tot dar sa nu stii nimic</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulme saraciei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa duci prezervativul la vulcanizare</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>are este culmea bogatiei?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa-ti cumperi si la ochelari lentila de termopan!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea paternitatii:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa-ti recunosti copilul de la o posta.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea culmilor:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ar fi culmea s-o mai stiti si pe asta!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea geografiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa deschizi "Portile de Fier" cu "Cheile Bicazului".</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea ghinionului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa faci pe prostul si sa ramai asa!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea aglomeratiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa mearga soferu' de la autobuz pe scara!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea cutremurului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa urci cu liftul si sa cobori cu apartamentu !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea graviditatii politice:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa intrerupi o sarcina de partid !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea unui cutit de bucatarie:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa taie pofta de mancare a mesenilor.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea lacomiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa mananci bataie si sa nu te saturi!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea curajului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa sari de pe un bloc de desen!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea economiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa pui pe usa un bilet: "Nu sunati ! Ies eu din cand in cand !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea ceasului desteptator:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa sune ocupat...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea impertinentei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa te prinda vecinul de la patru cu nevasta-sa in pat, iar tu sa il intrebi: -"Ai sa crezi ce iti vad ochii, sau ce o sa iti spun eu ?"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea melancoliei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa cazi pe ganduri si sa-ti rupi mana!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea paranoiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa crezi ca intr-o adunare de rugby se vorbeste despre tine.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea Opririi:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa treci pe linga un semafor si sa fie aprins si rosu si verde.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea prostiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Un politist blond</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea geloziei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa fii gelos pe soare ca iti arde nevasta.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea tinichigeriei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa invelesti casa cu tabla inmultirii.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea sovaielii:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa ezit, sa nu ezit...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea inotului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Cu o mana sa inoti, cu cealalta sa dai din picioare.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea aglomeratiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa cedeze soferul locul unei femei gravide.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea imblanzitului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa imblanzesti fiare vechi</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea tenisului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa joci tenis cu racheta nucleara</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea chiorilor:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa vezi dublu cu un singur ochi.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea croitoriei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa intorci pe dos costumul lui Adam</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea betivului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa ii lase gura apa</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea geografiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa te joci cu cercul polar;</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea gravitatiei :</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa faci flotari in spatiu</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea vanatorului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa faca sa cante cucurigu cocosul de la pusca</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea interfonului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa suni si sa primesti ton de fax.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea prostiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa stingi lampa si sa aprinzi un chibrit ca sa vezi daca s-a stins</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea somnului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa visezi ca dormi.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea veterinarului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa faci injectie unui catel de usturoi.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea culmilor:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa aiba pureci paduchii.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea politetii:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa bati la usa si cand iesi afara</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea orbului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa-si vada moartea cu ochii.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea somnului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa adormi cu capul pe butucul calaului.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea ingineriei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa scoti apa cu o pompa funebra</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea ambitiei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa te razi cu lama de la buldozer.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea fotbalului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa inceapa meciul si sa scrie pe gazon "nu calcati spatiul verde"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea auzului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa auzi cum se crapa de ziua</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea cruzimii:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa-ti omori timpul.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea zgarceniei:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa-ti pui ceasul cu trei ore in urma, ca sa faci economie de timp.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea consolarii:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa consolezi o salcie plangatoare</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea fotbalului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa deschizi frigiderul si sa strigi “goool”.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea norocului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa te calce o salvare.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea matematicii:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa stai de unu singur si sa te simti in plus</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ulmea tramvaiului:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sa-l traga politia pe dreapta.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-790929638406749359?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-12651789774282978292010-05-15T09:43:00.000-07:002010-05-23T04:27:53.776-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>oi canibali stau in pom. Pe jos trece un cavaler in armura. Unul dintre ei spune: <br />- Azi mancam conserve !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Ce mananca canibalii duminica? <br />R: Misionari, pentru ca sunt patrunsi de spiritul religiei..</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><a name='more'></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">S</span>e intalnesc doi canibali. Unul dintre ei tine sub brat cateva coaste de om. Celalalt intreaba: <br />- Ce faci cu coastele astea? <br />- Ma duc la alimentara. Pe coastele astea primesc inapoi garantia...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">V</span>ine un canibal intr-un magazin de delicatese si zice: <br />- As dori pentru diseara sa-mi livrati un eschimos. Dau o petrecere si as vrea sa servesc un bufet rece...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">J</span>ohn crede ca e canibal si familia l-a convins, in sfarsit, sa mearga la consultatie la un renumit psihiatru. <br />Cand John se intoarce acasa, dupa prima vizita la medic, sotia il intreaba: <br />- Cum ti s-a parut medicul? <br />- Delicios, raspunse John, lingandu-si buzele.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Care e textul religios cel mai drag unui canibal ? <br />R: Cum sa iti servesti aproapele...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n reporter strain ii ia un interviu presedintelui Angolei: <br />- D-le presedinte, mai aveti in tara dumneavoastra canibali? <br />- Nu, nu mai avem de mult, ca i-am mancat pe toti...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I:</span> Ce este un canibal care a mancat toti satenii lui? <br />R: Ghiftuit...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Ce este un canibal care isi mananca mama? <br />R: Orfan... <br />I: Dar daca isi mananca si tatal? <br />R: Satul...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n canibal merge in vizita la vecinul sau sa-i admire noul frigider. <br />- Ce capacitate are? Il intreaba. <br />- Nu sint sigur, raspunde acesta, dar au incaput in el cei trei oameni care l-au adus.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>oi canibali stau de vorba: <br />- Iti place sora-mea? <br />- Daaa,da,da,da...! <br />- Atunci mai ia o bucata!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-<span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>apitane, canibalii l-au prins pe John si acum vor sa-l manance! <br />- Nu cred sa le placa. John e bolnav de diabet. <br />- N-are a face. Au pus deja sa-l fiarba de compot...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>: Cum face un canibal cura de slabire? <br />R: Mananca pitici.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n canibal calatorea cu avionul. Stewardesa il intreaba: <br />- Ce ati dori sa serviti de mancare? <br />La care canibalul: <br />- Imi aduceti va rog lista pasagerilor...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n canibal a incercat sa se sinucida. Dat fiind faptul ca a dat gres sa afla sub control medical pentru o vreme. Medicul psiholog il intreaba: <br />- Si de ce ati incercat sa va sinucideti? <br />- Stiti, sunt satul pana in gat de oameni...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">U</span>n canibal cu fiul lui vad un avion. Fiul zice: <br />- Tata, ala se maninca? <br />- Nu tot, fiule, numai miezul! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">D</span>oi canibali, tata si fiu vad o femeie... buna si la propriu si la figurat. <br />Copilul: Tata, tata, hai s-o mancam!!! <br />Taticul: Taci, ba, nu fii bou, o luam p-asta acasa, si-o mancam pe mata</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-<span style="font-weight: bold;">S</span>timati pasageri, suntem nevoiti sa efectuam o aterizare fortata pe o insula cu canibali; va rugam sa va ungeti repede cu alifiile distribuite de stewardese. <br />- Dar de ce sa ne ungem, maica? intreaba o babuta. <br />- Pentru ca miros ingrozitor - raspunde o stewardesa. <br />- Si asa n-o sa ne mai manance canibalii? <br />- Ba da, dar o sa ne manance cu scarba.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>linton, Eltin si Iliescu au un accident de avion si aterizeaza fortat in jungla africana. Sint prinsi de un trib de canibali si adusi legati fedeles in fata sefului de trib. Asta le spune ca le da drumul numai daca a auzit de tara or daca nu -&gt; in cratita cu ei. <br />Clinton spune "Statele Unite". <br />Canibalu' - "Ntz, n-am auzit. La ciorba!". <br />Eltin: "Rusia". <br />Canibalu' - "Nici de asta n-am auzit. Tocanitza...". <br />Iliescu - "Err... eu mai bine ma duc direct in cratita, ca de tara mea in mod sigur n-a auzit nimeni...". <br />Canibalu - "Nu dom'le, zi, ca cine stie...". <br />Iliescu - "Romania". <br />Canibalu' - "<span style="font-style: italic;">Aaa... Romania, Bucuresti, ASE... Am si eu un nepot student acolo...</span>"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">P</span>e o insula un canibal alearga trei femei. Ele se salveaza urcindu-se intr-un copac. Asteapta canibalul o zi, doua zile, trei zile. Pica o femeie pe care canibalul o maninca. Mai asteapta o zi, doua zile... Dupa trei zile a doua femeie pica si ea. Canibalul o maninca. Asteapta el o zi, doua zile ... Dupa a treia zi femeia pica. <br />Morala : Femeia, pica, dar trebuie sa ai rabdare de canibal.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span>ati vin la petrecere, draga? se intereseaza nevasta canibalului. <br />- Nu te agita draga, va fi plin de domni finuti!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-1265178977428297829?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-58628439857389997952010-05-15T09:38:00.000-07:002010-05-22T11:39:11.859-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;"><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p>- <span style="font-weight: bold;">N</span>umim hot pe cel care ia proprietatea altuia - explica profesorul. <br />- Bula, tu nu esti atent! <br />- Ba da, domnule profesor. <br />- Atunci spune-mi, ce as fi eu daca ti-as scoate din buzunar 5 lei ? <br />- Vrajitor, domnule profesor. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">R</span>azboi cu nemtii. Bula se ascunde intr-o fantana. Un neamt vrea sa faca la fel. El striga in fantana, iar Bula face pe ecoul. <br />- E cineva acolo ? <br />- E cineva acolo ? <br />- Mai bine ma duc in padurice ... <br />- Mai bine ma duc in padurice ... <br />- Mai bine arunc o <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">grenada</st1:place></st1:country-region> ... <br />- Mai bine te duci in padurice !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br /><a name='more'></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula si o fata se joaca de-a v-ati ascunselea. Fata explica regulile: <br />- Tu te pui. Eu ma voi ascunde. Daca ma gasesti in 20 minute, poti sa ma tii de mana. Daca ma gasesti in 10 minute, poti sa ma saruti. Daca ma gasesti imediat, poti sa faci ce vrei cu mine. Acum pune-te, eu ma voi ascunde dupa frigider.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula isi gaseste sora sarutandu-se cu prietenul ei. Acesta ii ofera lui Bula 100 de lei: <br />- Tu nu ai vazut nimic acum, ai inteles. <br />- In regula - spune Bula, inapoind 50 de lei. <br />- De ce mi-ai dat inapoi acest rest? <br />- De ce sa platesti tu mai mult, decit platesc altii ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>ama lui Bula il intreaba: <br />-Bula ce faceti voi pe la casa de nebuni? <br />-Sarim in cap la bazinul de inot. <br />-Deci ii frumos. <br />-Da' doctoral nu ti-a zis nimic, ceva despre cum ai progresat, sau asa ceva? <br />-Nu, singurul lucru care mi l-a zis a fost ca daca sunt cuminte, imi pune si apa in bazin.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula mergea pe cal. Dintr-o data o picat. De ce? <br />S-o terminat calu'...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula tocmai iese din sediul militiei judetene si epuizat,se sprijina de un pom. Un trecator se apropie de el, <br />intreband: <br />- Nu va suparati, nu stiti unde se bate la masina ? <br />- Nu stiu, pe mine m-au batut manual...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula se plimba cu taica-su prin munti. Deodata, taica-su dispare. Bula, agitat, intreaba: <br />- Tata, ai cazut in prapastie? <br />- Daaaa. <br />- Si ai patit ceva? <br />- Nuuuu, se aude din prapastie. <br />- Dar e adinca prapastia? <br />- Inca n-am ajuuuuns... </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>erge Bula la oficiul postal cu o scrisoare pentru strainatate. <br />- Par avion ?, intreaba functionara. <br />Bula se uita la ea: - Nu pareti.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula, cate porunci exista? - intreba profesorul. <br />- Zece, domnule profesor. <br />- Si ce se intimpla, daca nu respecti una dintre ele? <br />- Ramin noua...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula, de ce este cunoscut Columb? <br />- Pentru ca s-a dus in <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">America</st1:place></st1:country-region> fara viza...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula, de ce a creat Dumnezeu mai intii barbatul? <br />- Ca macar o data in viata sa poata si el sa vorbeasca liber...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula se duce la o farmacista si intreaba: <br />- Doamna ce imi puteti da pentru o erectie permanenta ? <br />R: - Masa, casa si 1000$ pe luna.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula: - Domnule doctor, ce aveti pentru ridurile mele? <br />Doctorul: - Cel mai profund respect.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula merge intr-o zi pe strada si vede pe o poarta o placuta pe care scrie: "Caine Rau". Se opreste si se uita printre scanduri si vede o caricatura de catel, mica si amarita. Nedumerit, suna si o intreaba pe batranica care iese la poarta: <br />-Bine tanti, de ce tineti placuta cu "Ciine Rau" cand aveti o caricatura de caine? <br />-Pai pentru ca este rau. Nu vrea sa manince!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <span style="font-weight: bold;">V</span>isez sa fiu miliardar, ca tatal meu, zice Bulisor. <br />- Tatal tau este miliardar? <br />- Nu ! Si el viseaza!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula la scoala la ora de engleza. <br />Vine profa' si zice: <br />- Copii cine-mi spune cum se zice la pisica in engleza are un 10! <br />Se ridica unu si spune: <br />- ZA CAT! <br />- Bravooo, ai un zece! <br />Dar cine stie cum se zice la catel in engleza ii dau 2 de zece. <br />- ZA DOG raspunde unu! <br />- Bravo, ai doi de zece. <br />Da' ma copii ma cine stie cum se zice la caldura are media 10 pe anu. asta. <br />Bula se ridica si falnic spune: <br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">ZA DUF</span>!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula pe cimpul de instructie. <br />Dupa citeva comenzi neexecutate de Bula, capitanu striga: <br />Aviatie inamica la joasa inaltime! <br />Tot plutonu ia pozitia regulamentara numai Bula pozitia de drepti in mijlocul campului. <br />Capitanu: <br />- Ce faci Bula? <br />Bula: <br />- Ma adapostesc, sub un copac. <br />Capitanu: <br />-Da unde vezi copaci? <br />Bula: <br />-Dar unde vedeti dumneavoastra avioane?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">N</span>oaptea tarziu langa un bar . <br />Peste tot liniste, dar deodata iese Bula injurand si mort de beat. Trece strada peste un loc nemarcat. Un politist il vede si-i spune sa se intoarca. <br />- M-as intoarce dom' politist, da nu mai am bani.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula se uita cu binoclul la o perehe care se sarutau. Strula merge acasa si il vede pe Bula cand sa uita cu binoclu si ii zice: <br />- Ce faci mai? Lasa perechea aia in pace mai bine te uiti si tu la sotia ta! <br />Bula tare suparat: <br />- Dar tocmai la ea ma uit!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">M</span>ergea Bula pe plaja si observa un tip care era inconjurat de o multime de puicute. <br />Bula intrigat ii cere tipului respectiv un sfat pentru a se baga si el in seama. <br />Tipul: <br />-Pai iei un cartof si il bagi in slip. <br />A doua zi apare pe plaja Bula foarte mandru de noua achizitie, dar observa ca este privit urat. <br />Nervos Bula se intalneste cu tipul respectiv. <br />Tipul: <br />-Bai Bula, da prost mai esti.Ti-am spus sa il pui in fata ! <br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A</span>ccident la locul de munca. <br />Bula este anchetat in legatura cu moartea lui Ion. <br />Politistul: <br />- Ma Bula, cum a murit Ion? <br />- Pai injura si Dumnezeu la pedepsit. <br />- Cum injura ma? <br />Pai tot zicea: <br />- "Bula, In Dumnezeu matii nu mai zgaltai schela".</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a scoala invatatoarea il intreaba pe Bula. <br />I: - Ia zi Bula tu stii cine a introdus acupunctura in <st1:place st="on">tara</st1:place> noastra ? <br />B: - Da, Vlad Tepes.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula si Strula mergeau pe strada. <br />La un moment dat vad un bordel <br />Bula: <br />- Intru si eu sa vad cum este! <br />Iese peste 15 min. si spune: <br />- Bula, este naspa ba mai buna este nevasta-mea. <br />Intra si Strula iese si el peste 15 min. <br />Strula: <br />- Ai dreptate mai buna este nevasta-ta!!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a ora de istorie: <br />Profesorul: <br />- Cine a fost Mihai Viteazu? <br />Bula: <br />- Amza Pelea.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span>ula merge la un magazin: <br />- Vreau si eu un pachet de tigari B.T. <br />- Domnule sa stiti ca daca luati doua B.T. primiti unul gratuit ! <br />- Perfect! <br />Atunci puteti sa mi-l dati direct pe cel gratis !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">L</span>a ora de dirigentie, profesoara ii intreaba pe copii ce meserii au parintii lor. <br />La un moment dat il intreaba pe Gigel: <br />- Tatal tau ce este Gigele? <br />- Parlamentar, doamna profesoara. <br />- Bravo! <br />- Dar tatal tau, Bula? <br />- Aaaa, pai nici taica-meu nu lucreaza.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntr-o zi la scoala invatatoarea ii intreaba pe Bula si pe Strula cu ce se ocupa parintii lor. <br />Prima data il intreba pe Strula: <br />- Strula ce e tatal tau? <br />la care Strula ii raspunde: <br />- Gropar! <br />- Nu se spune gropar se spune functionar la pompele funebre. <br />Il intreaba pe Bula: <br />- Tatal tau ce e? <br />Bula: <br />- DJ la mistic club! <br />Invatatorea: <br />- Ce-i aia? <br />Bula: <br />- Clopotar si cantor la biserica</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p style="font-weight: bold;"> </o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>n epoca de piatra era Bula la scoala. <br />Deodata in scoala se aude un urlet. <br />- Bula ce ai de urlii? il intreaba profesoara pe Bula. <br />- Ma iertati doamna profesoara dar mi-a cazut fituica pe picior.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>n ziua de 23 august, Bulisor statea cu maica-sa pe trotuar si striga: <br />- Ula! Ula! Ula! <br />Vazand un militian ii zice: <br />- Vai ce baietel cuminte aveti! <br />Se pare ca nu poate sa pronunte litera 'R'. <br />Mama ii zice: <br />- Va inselati tovarase, nu poate sa pronunte litera 'P'!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">V</span>ine Bula la taica-su : <br />- Tata, am salvat o fata de la viol! <br />- Bravo, Bula ! <br />- Cum ai facut ? <br />- Nu mi s-a sculat !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> <br /></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span>ntr-o zi vine Bula la scoala cu ochii vineti. <br />Profa il intreaba: <br />- Ce-ai patit, Bula, de ai ochii vineti? <br />- Pai eram in autobuz si in fata mea era o femeie careia ii intrase fusta in fund si i-am scos-o si uite ca mi-a invinetit ochiul stang. <br />- Dar dreptul, intreaba profa. <br />- Pai daca am vazut ca nu-i convine, i-am pus fusta la loc.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p> </o:p></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5862843985738999795?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-51519981483127409292010-05-15T09:20:00.001-07:002010-05-21T05:46:37.916-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>S</b>eara, venind de la crasma, un betivan se loveste cu capul de un stilp si zice cu voce tare: <br />- Unu. <br />Un politai il aude si-l urmareste, vazindu-l lovindu-se de al doilea stilp si zicind: <br />- Doi. <br />Vrand sa-l ajute se duce in fata lui si-l intreaba daca poate sa-l ajute cu ceva. Betivanul zice: <br />- Sigur ca poti, numara cite cucuie am in frunte!<br />Politaiul zambind zice: <br />- Ai doua cucuie. <br />La care betivanul raspunde: <br />- <i>Multumesc, mai am doua si ajung acasa</i> !</div><div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n tip beat mergea in patru labe pe trotuar. <br />La un moment dat ii aluneca o mana si se loveste cu capul de caldarim. <br />Continua sa mearga in patru labe si din nou ii aluneca o mina si se loveste la cap. Dupa inca doi metri de mers in patru labe da cu ochii de o pereche de picioare misto. Ridica ochii si vede o fata care se uita scarbita la el.<br />- Ce faci fa ? o intreaba betivul.<br />- Fac trotuarul, raspunde fata jignita.<br />- Pai, fa-l naibii mai moale ca ma doare capul.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><o:p></o:p><b></b><br /><a name='more'></a><b></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n betiv mergea pe strada. <br />La un moment dat se opreste in fata unei pancarde publicitare. <br />Se uita... se uita... si la un moment dat zice:<br />- La viata mea, beti crita am vazut, beti morti am vazut,<i> dar</i> <i>beti cola nicodata</i>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n tip pleaca cu cainele la carciuma si nu se intorce pana seara. Abia tinandu-se de stalpi reuseste sa ajunga acasa. Nevasta-sa il ia la rost:<br />-Pai da bina ma, betivane, chiar asa nesimtit esti ? Cate beri ai baut ?<br />-Trei nevasta.<br />-Sigur ma?<br />-Intreaba-l si pe caine!<br />-Cate beri a baut ma?<br />-Ham! ham! ham!<br />Se repeta faza si in urmatoarele zile pana cand nevasa intreaba cainele:<br />-Asta atatea beri o fi baut daca asa zice cainele. Dar cate votci?<br />-<i>Auuuuu</i> !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>ntr-un restaurant intra un tip, se aseaza la o masa, cheama ospatarul si comanda o sticla de vin si doua pahare. Ospatarul aduce comanda si-l observa pe tip cum toarna vinul in ambele pahare, bea dintr-un pahar, ciocneste paharele unul de celalalt, bea si din al doilea pahar. <br />Scena se repeta citeva zile la rand. <br />Curios ospatarul nu rezista si-l intreaba pe tip:<br />- Domnule, de ce beti din doua pahare?<br />- Unul din pahare este al meu, celalalt este al prietenului meu, marinar, care este o mare sugativa. <br />Acum e pe mare. <br />- Eu beau si pentru el.<br />Intr-o zi intra tipul in local si comanda vinul si un singur pahar. Ospatarul crezu ca prietenul tipului a murit.<br />Il intreba pe tip:<br />- Domnule, a patit ceva prietenul d-voastra?<br />- Prietenul meu nu a patit nimic, eu am patit. M-am lasat de baut.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi betivi ies "afumati" rau dintr-un bar, mult dupa miezul noptii. Si mergand spre casa observa luna, care in seara acea era luna plina. Da unul zice:<br />- Uite ba, sunt doua luni in seara asta!<br />Si celalalt:<br />- Esti prost, nu vezi ca sunt patru?<br />Se cearta ei ce se cearta, ba ca doua, ba ca patru, cand se intalnesc cu un barbat pe strada. Asta era mai beat ca ei. Si-l intreaba cate luni sunt pe cer. La care omu, foarte serios, dupa ce se uita atent la luna, zice:<br />- Pe care rand?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n betiv este oprit de politie dupa ce acesta facuse o larma de nedescris. <br />Politistul intreaba de ce tipa asa de tare:<br />- Pai dom' politist astia mi-au furat masina.<br />- Si de asta trebuie sa tipi in halul asta.Nu vezi ca deranjezi tot cartierul. Si pe deasupra mai umbli si cu slitu descheiat, nu iti este rusine.<br />La care betivul raspunde. Vai de mine mi-au furat si nevasta !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi betivi plinbandu-se pe marginea unui lac vad un om innecat.<br />-Vezi ba daca a baut apa?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>M</b>ergeau pe sina de cale ferata 3 betivani:<br />-Aualeu ce de scari in blocul asta...<br />-Si ce rece e balustrada...<br />-Ia sssst, ia-uzi, vine si liftul...</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n politist interpeleaza un individ beat turta care incearca sa se urce la volanul masinii sale:<br />- Chiar intentionezi sa conduci in halul asta ?<br />- N-am de ales. Nu vezi ca nu-s in stare s-o iau pe jos ?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n betiv iese dintr-o circiuma. La un moment dat ia un stilp in brate si tipa:" Mariaaaaaaaa, deschide sint eu!". Un alt betiv trecind pe acolo il vede si-i zice: "<i>Insista tovarase ca la etaj e lumina</i>!"</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n militian da peste un betiv lungit intr-un sant. Il trezeste si-i spune:<br />- Cetatene, scoala si du-te acasa!<br />- Nu pot ! N-am voie sa merg !<br />- Ce face ? N-ai voie...?<br />- Da. Am baut niste sticle de vin pe care erau lipite etichete cu urmatoarea recomandare: "A se pastra culcat".</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>S</b>e da o intrecere intre americani, japonezi si romani, care construieste mai repede o fabrica.<br />Americanii: noi de dimineata turnam fundatia si la ora 12 primul automobil iese pe poarta fabricii.<br />Japonezul: noi dimineata turnam fundatia si la ora 12 iese primul vapor.<br />Romani: noi de dimineata turnam fundatia si la ora 12 suntem beti manga.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>T</b>rei betivani stateau intr-un bar dintr-o gara.Trenul suna de plecare.Unul din ei zice:<br />-Mai avem timp de un rind.<br />Mai comanda ei un rind si pina sa-si dea seama, trenul porneste.Cei trei fug dupa el. Primul se agata, il ajuta si pe al doilea sa se urce. Al treilea se opreste, isi trage rasuflarea si incepe sa rida in hohote. Un om care trecea pe acolo il intreaba:<br />-De ce rizi omule! Urmatorul tren e abia la 4.<br />La care omul raspunde:<br />-De fapt cei doi au venit sa ma conduca la gara !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi prieteni se intilnesc. Unul e zgiriat, cu hainele rupte. Ce-ai patit? il intreaba celalalt. Am venit aseara treaz acasa si nu m-a recunoscut ciinele!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>ntr-un bar, la o ora inaintata, un tip marcat de numarul de pahare scoate un ragait zgomotos. O doamna de langa el ii replica jignita:<br />- Nu ti-e rusine sa ragai asa in fata unei doamne?<br />- Ma scuzati, n-am stiut ca era randul dumneavoastra !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <b>N</b>u pot sa inteleg de ce am fost adus la pol .. politie ! exclama un betiv, plin de indignare !<br />- Pentru bautura ! ii raspunde ofiterul de serviciu.<br />- Pai de ce nu zici asa ? Adu-mi o bere !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>C</b>ica 2 betivi se intoarceau de la bar. Dupa 20 de metri unul zice:<br />-Ba am uitat sa ma pis !<br />La care celalalt ii zice:<br />Nu-i nimic ba, te invat eu !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n betiv manga mergea pe sapte carari spre casa. La un moment dat il vede pe unu care inchidea un robinet. Se duce suparat spre el si-i zice:<br />- <i>Tu invarteai ma strada</i> ?</div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-5151998148312740929?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-42412460978415023942010-05-15T08:59:00.000-07:002010-06-29T13:15:40.254-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="State" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n avion are probleme cu motorul, asa ca pilotul trimite echipajul sa se asigure ca toti pasagerii sunt asezati si cu centurile puse, in eventualitatea unei aterizari de urgenta. <br />Cateva minute mai tarziu pilotul intreaba daca toata lumea e asezata si pregatita. <br />- <i>Toti sunt asezati si pregatiti, raspunde un membru al echipajului, mai putin avocatii, care se invart de colo colo si impart carti de vizita</i>.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <b>A</b>cuzat, recunosti acest cutit? <br />- Da, domnule judecator. <br />- Insemna ca marturisesti crima. <br />- Nu marturisesc nimic. Dar mi-l aratati pentru a cincea oara. E normal sa-l recunosc! <br /><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n avocat care a scos cu fata curata un cunoscut escroc, ii trimite acestuia o nota de plata cam umflata. Escrocul ii scrie inapoi: <br />- Domnule avocat, onorariul dumneavoastra este cam ridicat. Se pare ca ati uitat ca eu sunt sarlatanul nu dumneavoastra. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>onescu ii spune prietenului sau: <br />- M-am despartit de sotia mea in pace: ea pastreaza locuinta si eu masina si biroul. <br />- Bine dar economiile voastre? <br />- <i>Astea le pastreaza avocatul</i>. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n om merge la bar cu un crocodil sub brat. <br />Omul: - Chelner ! Serviti si avocati ? <br />Chelnerul: - Da, normal. <br />Omul: - Atunci o bere pentru mine si un avocat pentru crocodilul meu. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>nui pacient, care astepta dupa un transplant de cord, i se ofera, de catre doctor, urmatoarele alternative: <br />- Avem trei posibilitati. Trebuie sa va hotarati pentru una: <br />- Una este inima unui atlet tanar si sanatos, care a murit intr-un accident de masina. <br />- A doua este a unui om de afaceri, care nu a baut si fumat niciodata in viata si care a murit intr-un accident cu avionul sau privat. <br />- A treia, a unui avocat, care a murit dupa ce a practicat 30 de ani. <br />- O iau pe cea a avocatului, zice pacientul. <br />Dupa reusita transplantului, doctorul isi intreaba pacientul de ce s-a hotarat in acest fel. <br />- Foarte simplu, zice acesta, am luat inima care nu a fost deloc folosita. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>C</b>onsiliul local al orasului observa ca cel mai tare avocat din oras nu facuse niciodata o donatie in scop de caritate. <br />Pentru a-l convinge sa o faca, primarul il chema la el in birou. <br />Primarul: - Domnule avocat, am observat ca veniturile dumneavoastra anuale se ridica la peste 2.000.000 de dolari. Cu toate acestea, niciodata nu ati facut vreo donatie comunitatii. <br />Avocatul: - Daca tot ati cautat informatii despre mine, nu ati observat ca mama mea este bolnava, iar medicamentele de care are nevoie depasesc de cateva ori veniturile ei? <br />Primarul, jenat: - Nu... <br />Avocatul: - In al doilea rand, fratele meu, veteran de razboi, este condamnat intr-un scaun cu rotile si este orb. <br />Primarul incepu sa-si ceara scuze, dar fu intrerupt. <br />Avocatul: - In plus, sora mea a murit intr-un accident, lasand orfani trei copii. <br />Umilit, primarul: - Nu stiam, ma iertati. <br />Avocatul continua: - <i>Nu vad de ce v-as da dumneavoastra bani, daca nu le dau nici lor</i>! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>ntr-un avion, un avocat nimereste langa o blonda. Avocatul incerca sa intre in vorba cu ea: <br />- Uite, hai sa jucam un joc! Eu iti pun tie o intrebare si daca nu sti imi dai 5$, apoi imi pui tu mie o intrebare si daca nu stiu iti dau 5 $! Si tot asa. <br />- Nu domnule, imi pare rau, sunt obosita, as prefera sa ma odihnesc: <br />-Bine, uite, jucam alt joc! Eu iti pun tie o intrebare, daca nu sti imi dai 5$; tu imi pui mie o intrebare si daca nu stiu, iti dau 50$! Blonda accepta in sfarsit. <br />Avocatul: <br />-Care este distanta de la Pamant la Luna? <br />Blonda deschide geanta si ii da 5$. Blonda: <br />-Ce e mic, are 3 picioare si urca dealul? Avocatul, se gindeste, scoate laptop-ul, cauta in baza de date, cauta pe Internet, trimite mail-uri la toti prietenii. In sfirsit, dupa 1 ora, transpirat, ii da blondei 50$. Blonda ii ia, apoi se intoarce si incepe sa se uite plictisita pe geam. Avocatul: <br />- Bine, bine, ce e mic, are trei picioare si urca dealul? <br />La care blonda deschide geanta si ii da o hartie de 5$. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>V</b>asile ii spune prietenului sau: <br />- M-am despartit de sotia mea in pace: ea pastreaza locuinta si eu masina si biroul. <br />- Bine dar economiile voastre? <br />- Astea le pastreaza avocatul. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>S</b>e intalnesc doi tipi pe o plaja. Intra in vorba, si fiecare poveste cum au ajuns in locul acela. <br />Primul zice: eu sunt avocat de renume; dupa incendiu am fost despagubit de firma de asigurari si am primit gratuit si un sejur aici. <br />Al doilea: eu sunt sofer, si dupa inundatiile de luna trecuta am fost despagubit de firma de asigurari si am primi si eu un concediu aici. <br />Avocatul sta putin si se gandeste, apoi il intreaba pe muncitor: <br />- Si cum faci sa pornesti inundatiile? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Seful catre secretara: <br />- Cine ti-a spus ca, doar pentru ca te-am sarutat de cateva ori, ai dreptul sa lenevesti toata ziua? <br />- Avocatul meu. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>M</b>arin creste intr-un oras mic si-apoi se muta la Bucuresti pentru a urma facultatea de drept. Decide sa se mute inapoi in orasul natal si sa isi deschida propriul birou de avocatura, insa afacerile ii merg cam greu la inceput. <br />Intr-o zi, vede un om apropiindu-se de usa biroului. Fiind primul sau client doreste sa ii faca impresie buna. <br />Cand acesta ajunge la usa, Marin ridica rapid receptorul telefonului si incepe, facandu-i semn cu mana sa intre: <br />- Nu. In nici un caz. Spune-le idiotilor ca nu ma voi opri pana nu primesc un miliard despagubire. Da. La tribunal am sedinta maine. Spune-i procurorului general ca am timp sa ma intalnesc cu el numai saptamana viitoare candva. <br />Si continua asa pentru vreo cinci minute. Omul asteapta cu rabdare pana Marin termina. Acesta pune jos receptorul si se intoarce catre noul venit. <br />- Imi pare rau ca v-am facut sa asteptati. Sunt foarte ocupat. Cu ce va pot ajuta? <br />Omul raspunde: <br />- <i>Sunt de la Romtelecom. Am venit sa va instalez telefonul</i>. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4241246097841502394?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-42778021006399582852010-05-15T08:06:00.000-07:002010-05-23T04:29:13.321-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="State" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n ardelean intra intr-un bar la <st1:state w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:state>. Barmanul il ia tare, din prima si ii spune ca in acest bar se bea numai pe pariu.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule, io pun pariu cu tine ca nu poti sa bei o sticla de Whisky in 30 de minute.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ardeleanul isi cere scuze, iese din bar si apare peste 10 minute inapoi, pune banu pe tejghea si accepta provocarea. Barmanul ii da sticla, ardeleanul o termina in 10 minute. Barmanul, stupefiat.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Domnule, dar n-am crezut ca asa ceva e posibil. N-am crezut ca sunteti instare de asa ceva. Nimeni nu a mai reusit!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ardeleanul:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nici io n-am crezut, da m-am dus la barul de peste drum sa verific!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: De ce umbla ardelenii cu scara dupa ei? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">R: Pentru ca sunt prosti de dau in gropi.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><a name='more'></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <b>I</b>n viata exista o singura mare iubire! spune o ardeleana. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Si care a fost marea ta dragoste ? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Marinarii, maica, marinarii...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Stiti de ce vorbesc rar ardelenii ? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">R: Ca stau des in munti, si cand spun ceva asteapta sa asculte si ecoul !</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: De ce se culca ardelenii pe camp?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">R: Ca sa se cultive!! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi ardeleni, Ion si Vasile. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ion catre Vasile: - Ma Vasalie, asa-i ca-ti manca cainele slana </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Vasile: Apoi manca pe muma-sa ca brisca-i la mine. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi ardeleni calatoreau cu trenul. Vine controlorul.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Biletele la control, va rog!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ma, Gheorghe, noi avem belet?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- No.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- N-avem belet, domn controlor.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bani de amenda aveti?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ma, Gheorghe, bani de amenda avem?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- No.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- N-avem bani, domn controlor.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Va bateti joc de mine? Bilet nu aveti, bani nu aveti. Atunci, ce dracu' aveti?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce-avem, ma Gheorghe?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Avem abonament. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>A</b>rdeleanul se duce la doctor deoarece tusea foarte tare. Doctorul il consulta si il intreaba cu o voce grava:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Fumati?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La care ardeleanul dupa cateva momente de ezitare raspunde:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Mai bine as bea ceva.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>A</b>rdeleanul coboara pe Feleac spre Cluj cu caruta cu nevasta si copilul. Ajungind in dreptul Teatrului, copilul intreaba:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Tata, da' casa aiasta mare cu doi catei pe ea ce-a fi?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu stiu, dragu' tatii.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Apoi, in Piata Unirii:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Tata, da' omu aiesta de hier pe cal, cine-o fi?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu stiu, dragu' tatii.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">In fine, linga Parcul Mare:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Tata, da' la balta aiasta mica, oare cum i-a zice?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu stiu, dragu' tatii.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Femeia, agasata de insistentele copilului, intervine:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da' mai lasa-l in pace pe tata-to, ma copile, nu vezi ca-i trudit?!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La care taranul raspunde cu bonomie ardeleneasca:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Lasa-l, femeie, pe copil sa intrebe, ca numa' asa invata!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n ardelean vine acasa mai devreme de la camp si aude zgomote in dormitor. Se duce in fuga si-si gaseste nevasta dezbracata complet, intinsa pe pat, transpirata si gafaind...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Ce-i ma, nevasta, ce ai?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Am infarct.... zice ea.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ardeleanul da sa fuga afara sa cheme pe doctor, cand copilul lui de 4 ani zice:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Tata, tata, unchiu' Gheorghe este sub pat in pielea goala...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ardeleanul fuge inapoi, ridica patura si-l vede pe Gheorghe sub pat dezbracat si zice:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Pai bine ma, nenorocitule, nevasta-mea moare de inima si tu umbli ca un bezmetic prin casa in pielea goala de-mi sperii copilul ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>ntr-un compartiment de tren, un oltean si un ardelean.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La un moment dat, ardeleanul scoate o litra de palinca, slana, pita, o ceapa si incepe sa manance, tragand din cand in cand si din palinca...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Olteanului i se face de o dusca, dar cum sa intre in vorba?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La un moment dat, vazand ca tuica e pe terminate, isi ia inima in dinti si se apropie de ardelean:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Ma cheama Mihai!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Apai, no, daca te cheama, du-te...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>T</b>raversand o strada, un ardelean este izbit de o masina, dar nu pateste nimic. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Totusi, soferul ii pune cateva monede in mana ca sa impace lucrurile. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Incantat, ardeleanul i se adreseaza: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Veniti des pe aici domnule?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n pictor vestit, aflat intr-o drumetie in munti, intalneste o turma si se adreseaza ciobanului: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bade, imi dai voie sa-ti pictez oile? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Esti nebun omule? Lasa-le asa albe cum sant...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: De ce pun ardelenii piine-n ciorba ? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">R: Ca sa nu deschida gura de doua ori.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n ardelean cosea linistit pe un deal situat langa satul lui natal. Si cum muncea el linistit, aude o voce:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Mai Vasileeeeee! Vino repede acasa ca ti-a murit sora!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ardeleanul lasa linistit munca si se indreapta spre casa. Merge el vreo 500 m si apoi exclama:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ohooo, ce teapa am luat, doar eu n-am nici o sora!, asa ca se intoarce la munca. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa cateva minute, iar aude o voce:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Vasileeeee, vino ma repede ca ti-a murit soacra!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sta ardeleanul si se gandeste putin, apoi se indrepta linistit catre casa. Dupa 10 minute isi da seama ca el nu are nici soacra, asa ca se intoarce linistit la munca. Dupa alte 10 minute, aude iar o voce dinspre sat:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Vasileeeee, vino repede ca ti-a luat foc casa!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sta ardeleanul si-si spune in gand: Ba, io sora n-am, soacra n-am, dar casa am, asa ca pleaca linistit spre sat. Merge el agale si cand ajunge in sat isi spune:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Aoleu ce prost sint, pe mine nu ma cheama Vasile</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>B</b>adea Gheorghe si badea Vasile pe drumul Clujului vad o broasca testoasa:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Vasile, ce-o fi asta?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Sta Vasile ci cujeta si cujeta...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Gheorghe, asta o' ii ceva, o' mere undeva.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n tip mai pe seara face autostopul. Il vede pe unul cu o caruta venind pe sosea si il intreaba:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-No bade departe-i Clujul?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-D'apoi nu-i departe!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Urca tipul in caruta adoarme si mai spre dimineata se scoala si intreaba:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Bade da unde-i Clujul?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-No, acu-i departe!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi ardeleni in tren...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">La un moment dat se satura de tacere si unul ii zice celuilalt:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ma Ioane ce-i ma mic si negru si mere roata de numa numa?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ca doar n-o fi acidul dezoxiribonucleic ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n ardeelean neavand bani s-a hotarat sa vinda vaca la targul de duminica. in drum spre targ se intalneste cu Ion si continua drumul impreuna. Pe drum Gheorghe vede o broasca raioasa mare si urita si ii spune lui Ion:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Ioane, vezi tu broasca asta? Daca tu o mananci iti dau vaca mea. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ion sta si se gandeste ca este sarac si i-ar prinde bine o vaca si se apuca cu scarba sa manance broasca. Dupa ce a mancat jumate nu mai poate si ii spune lui Vasile:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Vasile, daca mananci tu jumatatea asta nu-ti mai iau vaca.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Vasile se gandeste ca daca se intoarce fara vaca sau bani acasa il omoara nevasta</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Bine, zice si se apuca sa temine broasca dupa care isi continua amandoi drumul. Dupa un timp Ion zice:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Mai Vasile de ce am mancat noi broasca asta ma ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>: Cum latra cainii in Ardeal?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">R: No hau...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>G</b>heorghe pleaca la cosit. Spre seara este gasit lesinat de niste vecini, este stropit cu apa si, dupa un timp, omul isi revine:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Ce-i, bade Gheorghe? Esti bolnav? De ce-ai lesinat? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-De foame.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-De foame? Da' lelea Geta nu ti-o pus de mancare?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Ba mi-o pus pita si slana, da' mi-am fost uitat brisca acasa.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <b>I</b>a povesteste, Gheorghe, cum o fo' cu accidentul de masina?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Apoi, o fost ase: noi am mars pa drum tat'nainte si cand drumu' o luat-o spre stanga, noi tat 'nainte...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi ardeleni la oras sunt cazati intr-un hotel la etajul 20. liftul nu</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">merge. Se apuca ei sa urce pe scari. Pe la etajul 5, Ion catre Gheorghe:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Gheo, am sa iti zic ceva…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Lasa-ma in amaraciunea mea, imi zici cand ajungi.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa inca vreo 7 etaje, Ion:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Gheo, trebe sa-ti zic ceva…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Lasa-ma Ioane, imi zici cand ajungem. acu lasa-ma in pace!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">In fata usii, Gheorghe catre Ion:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ia zi acum ce voiai sa-mi zici.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Am uitat cheia la receptie!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Se apuca ei sa coboare</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa vreo 5 etaje, Ion vrea sa zica ceva.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Lasa-ma in pace. Imi zici jos!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Alte 7 etaje, Ion vrea sa spuna ceva, Gheorghe enervat il opreste. Ajung</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">sleiti la receptie, Ion:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Mai Gheo, tu chiar nu stii de gluma…</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n ardelean, Ion, care voia sa plece in Germania il intreaba pe un vecin de-al lui ce sa faca deoarece nu stie limba germana.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu e bai. Limba germana-i ca la noi, doar ca tre’ sa vorbesti mai rar. Zis si facut. Ajunge Ion la Hamburg, intra intr-un bar si spune:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bu-na zi-ua!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bu-na – raspunde barmanul la fel de rar.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da-ti-mi si mi-e o be-re.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Po-f-tim be-rea.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Dupa primele inghitituri Ion spune:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Eu su-nt de la Tu-rr-da. Tu de un-de es-ti?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- To-t di-n Tu-rr-da.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Na… pai atunci de ce vorbim nemteste ma ?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>on si Gheorghe: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Servus, Ioane, ce faci? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bine, mi-am luat sconcs... </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Si unde-l tii? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Apai în pat, la picioare. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da' nu pute!? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ba da, dar s-o învata el...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>on si Gheorghe in tren. La un moment dat primesc de la vecinul de compartiment o banana. Nestiind cum se utilizeaza, il urmaresc pe om cum o desface si o desfac si ei. Il urmaresc cum o musca si Ion musca si el, moment in care trenul intra in tunel. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ion: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Gheorghe, ai muscat si tu? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu musca, ba, ca orbesti!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>A</b>rdelenii se hotarasc sa declare razboi Chinei. La un moment dat unul dintre ei ii atentioneaza pe ceilalti: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ba, da'-s milioane! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Da' chiar, ba, unde-i ingropam?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi ardeleni privesc la TV. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Se transmit stirile de la ora 8, unde o femeie vrea sa se arunce de la ultimul etaj al unei cladiri. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pariez pe patru mii de lei ca se arunca, spune primul ardelean. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- De acord, spune al doilea ardelean. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Femeia se arunca totusi si al doilea ardelean scoate portofelul, dar primul ardelean nu vrea sa primeasca banii: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Stii ce? Eu am vazut si stirile de acum doua ore. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Si eu, spuse primul ardelean, dar nu credeam ca se va arunca si a doua oara ! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>A</b>rdeleanul soseste cu intarziere la impartirea darurilor, iar Dumnezeu ii spune amarat: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Imi pare rau de tine, nu mi-a mai ramas decat frumusetea si prostia, fiule, ce sa-ti fac? Alege-ti. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Apai, Doamne, frumusetea-i trecatoare.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">In Ardeal se striga vecinii de pe-un deal pe celalalt: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Maaa...vecinee!... </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Care-i baiu maaa?... </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Tu ce-ai dat la vaca ta cand o fost beteaga? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- "Fotoghin" maaa!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Trece o saptamana... </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Maaa...vecinee! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce-i baiu maaa...? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- D-apoi ce-ai zis c-ai dat la vaca ta cand o fost beteaga? </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- "Fotoghin" maaa... </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Pai da' vaca mea o murit mai! </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Si-a mea maaa...</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>D</b>oi ardeleni, Ion si Gheorghe, vor sa treaca strada. Ion spune: </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Ma, eu pun pariu cu tine ca trec strada asta intr-o juma'de ora. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-No ca doar nu esti fulger!</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>on isi cumpara de la Cluj un binoclu.Gheo il intreaba cei ala. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ion:"-E un instrument cu care poti sa vezi pina hat departe si toate lucrurile le vezi ca si cum ar fi linga tine." </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Gheo:"-Ma, nu se poate asa ceva!" </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ion:"-Ba da, ma.Uite, aseara, stateam la mine in curte si te vedeam ce te mai jucai cu nevasta-ta, cum o mai alergai, cum o mai iubeai..." </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Gheo:"-Vezi ca nu-i bun de nimic? Eu aseara nici n-am fost acasa!"</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2906808065386086179-4277802100639958285?l=antren.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Antrenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12007130884953115321noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2906808065386086179.post-57555016144101825022010-05-15T07:58:00.000-07:002010-05-23T00:32:00.359-07:00<meta content="text/html; charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type"></meta><meta content="Word.Document" name="ProgId"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Generator"></meta><meta content="Microsoft Word 11" name="Originator"></meta><link href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CAndrei%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml" rel="File-List"></link><o:smarttagtype name="country-region" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="City" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><o:smarttagtype name="place" namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags"></o:smarttagtype><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <br /><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>ntr-o padure se deschide un supermarket. Toate animalele se aseaza la coada lupul, vulpea ursul ajung mai la urma. Deodata apare iepurele si vrea sa treaca de urs, care era ultimul. Ursul suparat il ia pe iepure la bataie, in cele din urma iepurele scapa si vrea sa treaca mai departe dar da de vulpe care suparata ca iepurele vrea sa o ia inaintea ei il ia la bataie.&nbsp;</div><div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Iepurele scapa si de vulpe si ambitionat vrea sa treaca si mai in fata dar da de lup care vrea si el sa-l ia la bataie. Atunci iepurele suparat incepe sa strige:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- <i>Sa mor daca mai deschid magazinul astazi</i> !</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>M</b>ama molie cu puiul molie. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Puisor, te rog frumos sa papi ciorapel... </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu pap ciorapel!!! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ba, te rog frumos, iti spun pentru ultima oara: papa ciorapel! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- NU pap ciorapel!!! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Bineee, sa stii ca cine nu papa ciorapel nu vede nici mohair.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><a name='more'></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>U</b>n soarece alergat de o pisica intra innebunit intr-un grajd. Da aici de o vaca: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Vaco, vaco, ajuta-ma, ascunde-ma repede, te rog ! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Unde sa te ascund ma soarece? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Ii vine vacii o idee si se balega pe soarece. Intra pisica: </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Vaco, zi-mi repede unde e nenorocitul ala de soarece ! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nu am vazut nici un soarece dar daca vrei uita-te si tu pe-aici. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Se uita pisica prin zona si vede codita soricelului iesind din gramada de balega. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Morala 1: Nu oricine te baga in rahat iti vrea raul. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Morala 2: Nu oricine te scoate din rahat iti vrea binele. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Morala 3: Daca te bagi in rahat macar baga-te cu totul.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b>I</b>ntr-o zi se plimba iepurasul prin padure, se intilneste cu vulpea.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Buna, ce mai faci iepurasule ? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- O, bine, vulpeo, ma simt excelent, sint intr-o forma grozava, daca ma intilnesc cu ursul ii dau citeva <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">labe</st1:place></st1:city> de-l nenorocesc, praf il fac. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Extraordinar. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Mai merge el ceva, se intilneste cu lupul. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Cum o mai duci iepurasule ? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Nemaipomenit, ma simt excelent, sint intr-o forma grozava, daca ma intilnesc cu ursul ii dau citeva <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">labe</st1:place></st1:city> de-l nenorocesc, praf il fac. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Uluitor. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Mai merge cit mai merge, iata ca vine chiar ursul. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Hai salut bai iepure, am auzit ca-ti merge nemaipomenit, ce mai faci ? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">- Ce sa fac nene ursule, ia, ma plimb si eu prin padure si vorbesc prostii.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-<b>D</b>e ce nu merge melcul cu motocicleta? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-??? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">-Ii falfaie ochii!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br /><